tying another knot #8

[Babygirl]

hey all, i love you all so much right now you have no idea. when i was here all alone in my pain last nite, i realized how truly alone i am in the real world, and so wished I could just crawl in here with ya'll.
i am so hurt so mad, i think i have invented some new cuss words in the past day. yesterday seems like forever ago, yesterday I wanted nothing in the world more than my H. today, i dont know if i do anymore. 3 years at least of lies and deception, as i told amy last nite, this is every womans nitemare, and the sad thing is, I will never be able to trust him around ow again. never. if I stay with him that means I have to deal with her forever. and I cant do that. i can not.
in his email, he never said i am sorry, he didnt put an i love you in it. its all about him, if he truly was sorry, he would say so, if he loved me he should have said so, and I dont give a flying monkeys ass about his job, or him being tired last nite. THIS should have mattered. he left me completely alone in the devastation that was our family.
he made his bed, he can now lie in it. i really dont think this is one thing i can forgive if ever.
i love you all and thank you for your wisdom and wonderful words. please pray for my children, they are really gonna need them.