Positive developments? #2

[jon2911]

Nice talk with W yesterday, finalizing plans for Thanksgiving. W called this morning, "Merry Christmas, want to meet me for lunch?"

Really a nice surprise, and I was very excited. We went out to our favorite Mexican place, and it went OK, I guess. One of the first things she said was "why on earth do you still wear your ring?" I quickly took it off, and apologized. I don't really know how to answer that without starting an R talk.

Turns out W needed a vacation, so she came up, got a hotel room last night, and took it easy. Frankly, this pissed me off. Why didn't she call me? And I know how broke she is, she can't afford a trip like this. I'm making all this effort to go see her in a week, and it just really felt like a slap in the face. Grrrrr.

I kept it nice, but had a lot of things running through my head. She's really affecting my PMA.

Women don't sell their wedding ring. Well, I'm sure some women have, but no, she won't.

hello. i am wondering about your insight on women never selling their wedding ring. i am just curious because i have a WAW and i am scared to deatht that she will sell her wedding set. i am quietly and patiently and lovingly waiting for the day that she might put them back on...anything to help my confidence that she would not sell them would be appreciated.

[ms ladybug]

Well, I think the ring represents the happy times. More than wedding pictures, and family vacations. The ring is very symbolic, and I doubt it would get sold. HOWEVER, some women who have been sep, and later reconciled wanted A DIFFERENT ring to symbolize the "new marriage".

[jon2911]

Thanks ms b!

I think I've spent way too much time worry about W selling it, or the other financial stuff she's doing right now. I can't control that. Wren, I'll check your thread.

W called me on her way home to Houston and asked for help on the insurance stuff. I made a few calls, and they're still waiting for a form that was sent in June. It made me really angry, because I work a good job with great benefits, and they're BSing us. I need to stop procrastinating and get this rolling.

I also had to bite my tongue when W asked for help. Hopefully I'm growing through this.

[jon2911]

OK, well, welcome back to the twilight zone. W asked if I would get an STD test. She didn't say much more, but I've had suspicions for a while. My doctor didn't have any more appointments before Thanksgiving, so it will have to wait. Not like the results would be back until after anyway. I'm kind of ambivalent about it, or maybe just don't know how to feel.

Leaving for Thanksgiving in a couple hours. We have some great plans for each day, and I hope it goes well. W has been very needy and sick this week.

I'm almost done with my life inventory in the recovery group. It's really been a beat-down, but good. Next step is to make amends to people I've hurt. I named like 30 people just from this divorce sitch, so that should be interesting.

And I went to a Song of Solomon conference last weekend. Really, really hard to be there alone, but I'm putting the stuff into action. Mark Driscoll led it, very different from the typical Christian-y stuff. I'll post a link later.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

[jon2911]

And, here's the series I mentioned, that was condensed into the weekend conference. Quite a bit of "there's a verse about THAT in the Bible?" Very good for DB'ers, I think. Especially the oral sex;)

Preview (since taken down because it was so controversial):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5P1f22zos0

Series:
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess

[ms ladybug]

Hi Jon! Hope you have a great weekend.
I'm a little confused about the STD thing. Why would she ask you to get tested? Did she test positive for something? I would think she would just get tested herself, and if she's clean, you're clean, right?

[jon2911]

I'm a little confused about the STD thing. Why would she ask you to get tested? Did she test positive for something? I would think she would just get tested herself, and if she's clean, you're clean, right?

Well, that's what I'm afraid of. I think this was her way of telling me that she tested positive. I didn't pursue it further, and might not this weekend.

[jon2911]

I was just thinking back to a year ago. SIL and W came and got the last of her stuff the day before Thanksgiving, and I went to be with my family. It was the most miserable time of my sitch, because it was the first holiday and everything reminded me of her.

Things are still crazy, but I'm in a much, much better place now. Whatever she decides, I'll be fine. And at the very least we get to have Thanksgiving together.

Thanks everyone, have a great Thanksgiving!

[ms ladybug]

Be careful Jon. You deserve an explanation on why you need to test, and specificaly for what. Also, you may not test positive even if she did...so protect yourself this weekend (you know what I mean). But, if she is positive, she needs to tell you what she is positive for before you two make love.