{{{TxMom}}}} hugs. When I was having trouble missing my H day by day, someone told me to not to think of another day without my H, think of it as one more day closer to them coming home. Some days that works for me.
I will also not file for D, but I do think I am going to get a couple of atty advice since we are in the state of Texas and I hear it is not a good place to be for D. 60 days and no waiting period even though I hear that might change in January 2009 to a year grace period to file. I pray that happens. Also since this is a fault state, if there is an OP involved it gives you ground for adultery which if my H serves me that is the route I plan on going just to delay as long as possible till one of them gets tired waiting.
Take care and hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Texas is a "no fault" state. Your spouse can D you in 62 days without you ever signing a piece of paper.
The grace period change is news to me. I'd ask my L but it is $200/hr Google found no mention.
My advice? Don't bother counter-suing for adultery. Adultery is impossible to prove unless you have a porn-movie of them going at it, and even then it won't make a difference in the end. Sure, you get to have the fun of watching them squirm in court, but remember, you are paying (big time) for the privilege. Save your money.
Adultery is all too common these days. It really isn't a big deal to judges anymore.
PS: I am not a lawyer and you should get legal advice from someone who is.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
TxMom--I don't have much to add to what the wise women here have offered. As I told you from early on, you should be proud of how well you've done so far. You have so many good things going for you, you are successful no matter what happens with your M. You've got two tickets to Hawaii, so you are likely busting your a$$ at work! Like PM said, you have two great little gals, an active life and plenty of friends. You are going to be a great catch for somebody, maybe your H will wake up and realize that he is giving up one incredible TxMom! If he doesn't it is his loss, not yours! Keep your head up!
LE
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
As SuperStar knows too well.. you can get D in 62 days if it is rushed and apparently we don't have to necessarily sign stuff ... our H's can move it along... I did ask my attorney if Adultery adds anything, I think it just gives us more grounds for money, time etc... You'd want to do colabortive law and not let it go to the courts and a judge decide for you.
My H emailed me stating all expenses after a certain date is his responibility... do you think you could get your H to do this.. I now don't worry b/c I know that protects me.
happy thanksgiving... I'll be on and off checking in ...
Hey! Today is my 62nd day and I am still married!
My instructions to my L were very simple "Stall as long as you can, but keep me out of court." In other words, if the opposing L thinks you are stalling, they can just take you to court.
I love my L. My W has spent over $5K and I haven't even used half my $1200 retainer.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
SS we need to talk off line... I have questions and I'm sure more once my H files... (if he files) trying to be positive... how can we connect??
So sounds like you did not do colabortive law divorce? you can't go to court if you do this and both parties have to come to an agreement in one room...if you can't you'd have to fire your lawyers and start all over. It is the cheaper of them all and usually I've been told you can hopefully get more than a judge deciding for you.
LE - thanks for checking in... I do feel some days that having been exposed to DB so early on, literally week one from our C, that has helped me in the journey... I have so many friends that tell me how they can't believe how good I'm handling it all, although inside I'm falling apart, PM really put it straight... my H isn't going to see the light of day until this R plays out for him... I just miss him .. point blank and simple..
I just wonder for all of our spouses.. do they even miss us?? Think of all the things that would reminded them of us... my H and I love music... he would hear a thousand songs a week that he would have to think of us... but maybe they are so in the thick of it it doesn't matter...
Also, my H wants to see the girls on Thanksgiving for a bit (but remember he is leaving next day to meet up with OW) I don't want to use the kids but I kind of feel like he needs this one day to be alone without kids and without OW, to see how it really will be, he is over at our house way too much... I might let him grab them for a few hours but haven't decided... thoughts?
hang in everyone, I will play catch up this weekend I've been behind on reading and posting on others threads
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
txmom, tough decision about thanksgiving for you. These holidays are really messing with our minds. Maybe let him see his D's for an hour and let him see you are on your way out for a fun day. So then H will see what he is missing. My H is coming all day which is a whole nother story.
Let me know about info you find out about divorce in Texas. I am in the same boat.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hey {{TxMom}}, I know you must be really nervous about your first meeting with L. I was terrified. But it's good to get information for your arsenal. Just look at it that way, your L will be on YOUR side.
Thanksgiving issue is hard. Like what I wrote about Halloween. More time with the children is always a good thing for WAS. It's the ONLY thing that grounds them right now. You want that right? Let's think of it this way, if he was a TOTAL deadbeat Dad and refuses to see the kids, then you and the children will be hurting much more. So encourage him to think that he can still be a good dad. It's a good thing either way, whether you stay together or take your separate paths.
I know (like me) your pride and sense of justice is screaming at you (BUT you are letting him eat cake!!) Don't worry about that now. Don't be the bi*ch in this triangle, OK? You can't afford that right now. Maybe later, you can get a chance to talk some sense into him. But not now, the timing is wrong. If you want to minimize damaage (which should be your biggest priority in you R after the kids) then you need to be the BETTER OPTION.
Don't let him put you in the I-knew-she-would-use-the-kids-against-me box. He is probably expecting you to be that, so do a 180 and be ultra generous. To get his attention, you need to catch him off-guard. Because he was bored with the same-old same-old TxMom. He thinks he knows you like the back of his hand. I bet you that you didn't know you can handle this so well, right? You'd never thought you could bear this whole situation but you have and you did it with grace. No one can take that from you, TxMom. Well done!
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
LE.. it's all good; if you've seen some of the pics on my FB page, you'd know about my tendencies. alias is Paige anyway; maybe I'll change my name her to Paige LOL
MC - you need to find me on FB... I'm one of Amy's friends and the picture is of my two girls...
SS - clearly I am just now getting this ... leaving for a hair appt so back on later.. we will connect...
PM & Hope - good info again... well my family is in town so H and I were going to spend the holiday together alone with kids but my family came up so clearly he would not show up ... I will definitely let him have the girls tomorrow for a bit... but not sure about tonight... we'll see... I agree I have been doing really well at not using the kids against him... but he is only pushing for them b/c OW won't be around - ugh!!
Hope - I did not know H was spending thanksgiving with you guys now.... more info.
back on later
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
Google found no mention.