married 4 years, 2yo son, separated...letting go

[KenF]

the dwelling part is the toughest. many arguments still running through my head.

my STBX seems to be leading up to something, maybe i'm being paranoid, i just dont trust her anymore. but she mentioned something about our daughter acting up and about her being passed back and forth too much. leads me to believe she's been playing nice-nice to lull me into dropping my guard then she'll spring some bs about custody.

i just cant fathom how she doesnt understand that anything less than 100% with both of us together is what is affecting our daughter. any schedule of 50/50 custody will make Zophia hurt and act up.

maybe she just needs something to blame me for. i think she sees the pain Zophia is going through, when she's with her she cries for me. and i dont think she's strong enough to accept her role in this. acceptance would cause her house of cards to implode.

but Carlos, back to you. i dont understand the insults either, thats something i've never had to deal with. its really quite selfish, pardon me for saying that, and she's obviously in a lot of pain / turmoil / confusion. We're all adults, we need to be able to see beyond our own issues and keep a careful eye on how we affect the little ones around us.

I think the best you can do is try to find that middle ground where you minimize her opportunities to insult you, without becoming a doormat. Explaining to her that you wont accept her insulting you in front of your son is definitely the right thing to do.