Wow, it makes me so happy to come here and see that you have all visited me!
I've had a really busy few days. Yesterday it was the Royal visit at the hospital which went REALLY well. Princess Alexandra seemed really interested in everything and visited and ante natal clinic and talked to loads of people around the hospital and then stayed for tea. I had to present her with a gift which was also very exciting. I will post some pics in the alt. universe soon.
Lisa and I had an extra long choir rehearsal in the evening in preparation for the concert so I am looking forward to an early night tonight. Plus h's friend who I met on the train commented on my FB status today and used an 'in joke' that we had created/ discussed on the train which I see as a good thing as h will more than likely see it.
I was debating whether to post this as I am slightly ashamed of my h's behaviour and aware how rubbish it is but I suppose I should as it is h related and you all may have suggestions I haven't thought of. H sent me a text last night which said
'Hi, I hope you're ok and Maple is too. Just wanted to let you know that I'm not ignoring your email you sent the other day, I've just had a week's holiday so haven't had a chance to reply. I wondered if you could do me a favour though... The finance for the car is in your name currently. Would you be happy to transfer it to my name? If so you just have to write to them telling them that's what you want to do and give them my name and address. Hope that's ok. H.'
I know, wtf?? Avoidant, in his own world, rude etc are my thoughts but to deal with the issue there is no reason that I can see why this particular bill needs to be dealt with (well, for some reason it suits him) and I am not going to just transfer the car finance to him without a reason. Also, I don't know his address. Also, I don't find this acceptable as it is insensitive to me (i.e. expecting me to do him favours when he hasn't responded to my email), but I accept this is MLC or life crisis world and he is on his own planet so I am just venting.
I have thought about it and I can see several options, although please let me know if you have anymore ideas.
1. Not replying. This would be a 180 for me. I have never not replied before and I really think it is inappropriate for him to text me about these things - however he won't understand this and I don't want him to think I am being obstructive.
2. I could wait a while longer and see if he emails me and reassess next week. It could 'enforce' a response from him via email as he will start to wonder about me. However it could be negative wonderings which I don't want but responding to it may 'allow' him to defer the email giving him more potential to ignore.
3. Or I can reply and say I would be happy to talk about this if he wants to call/ email /meet so I could get further information from him.
My goal for this is to set clear boundaries
- I am not willing to make important financial decisions over text message and it is not appropriate to contact me in this way, even if he doesn't see it as a big deal.
- If I am signing something over to him I need to know why and what his intentions are. (I have no problem with signing the car over to him as I do not want a claim on it and it is a debt therefore he is welcome to it however I want to make sure nothing is going to come back and bite me later.)
*sigh* luckily I had a brief period of anger but I feel nothing now. Apart from the odd huge sigh. Luckily I am enjoying life at the moment so he doesn't have so much of an effect.
