Well there sure are many of us awake tonight. I figured you wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.
Your world has just been put through a blender. You have every right to whatever feelings you have - just please, try not to make this about you - what you did or didn't do, said or didn't say, etc. I know that you're part of the M w/H - but all these inappropriate choices he's made/making are all about him. He's all about him.
Remember that our lives are lived in God's time, not our time. You will get through this, you will heal and move forward in whatever direction you decide - in God's time. And it hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts - and as much as that sucks, it's part of the process. You will make the decisions you need to make - in God's time
With the health issues you've had, I know that no one has to tell you that life is a gift. I guess one positive thing is that you found out about the child now - what if it was another year or two or five w/you still busting your a$$ to save your M without yet knowing the truth.
"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32.
BG-You CAN do this. For God's sake you birthed 3 babies, have lupus, go through chemo crap everyweek, Honey, this is NOTHING! You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Yes it is going to hurt for a while. For a long long while. But it is up to you to decided if you are going to let the choices of two very selfish people rule the rest of your life, or if you are going to rise above. God has given you the strength to do it. To rise above.
Many times I have felt like you. All the health issues and everything, then I always remember that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. You have us and we will stand beneath you until you can stand on your own again.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
And, I completely agree with Kel...you may be one of the toughest women I've ever met. You can do this!!!
Sometime, when you're ready, I'll tell you all the things about the sitch that let me know that it is certainly not about you. But, today, I'm just here to let you know that I love you, and I'm praying for you. Go see the pastor today...Please go. That will help provide some comfort.
I'll be around on the cell if you need me.
((((((((BG))))))))!!!
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
