Oh this is so hard. H just called me, I am so glad he did. I am crying now, I tried so hard not to and I did OK at the beginning. I am sitting here and I can't even think to type right now. Oh it hurts. He asked if I was up, I said yeah, I didn't have to work today. He said sorry I didn't know that. I told him we only work 24 hours this week, I have my 20 in so I am taking the other 4 of my Veteran's day. He asked if I was OK, I said I guess, I said are you and he said not yet. We talked a bit just about stuff, and football pool. I said I had seen one of the office people from his work, one the I went to school with, at Wal Mart last night as a new checker. H told that she had chewed out one of his work friends wife who works in the office and his friend's wife quit. I said good for her, they would only let her work 30 hours so they wouldn't have to pay insurance and stuff call in her for like 2 or 3 hours in the morning and then come back in the afternoon too. I told him he forgot his phone charger. He said yeah he knew he will probably turn his phone off because it will be dead. I asked if he was coming to dinner on Thursday he said yes 1:00. I said yeah, He said I will probably be out to load the truck up, He said is that OK, I said Yeah and then I started to say No, but he said, I mean your dad's truck (with the steel we want to haul off). He said is that OK, I said yeah. He asked again if I was OK, I wasn't good at DB'ing at all on this one, I just fell apart. I said I miss you. He said I miss you too, and was having problems saying it because he was starting to cry too. We were silent for a bit, and I said I have never not talked to you at night and then I started to cry again and we were quiet again. He was late to work if he was just leaving for work then where ever he was calling from on the road, as he had to be there in 7 min and we were on the phone that long. I said I better let you get into work, I was starting to cry again. H says can I call you again later, I said Yes. I almost said I love you and I stopped and said bye sorta. Nothing was coming out right. I know I have to be strong, it was so hard for me. I just sucked at it today. H said he just threw some stuff in bags. Yesterday, and he did forget the charger, he will come by and get the charger tonight. Oh I want him back so bad. I know it won't happen by I want my good life back so bad. I hate this.
