Your Penn State is going to the Rose Bowl that was a good one for you!
indeed it is. thanks for noticing. it is a nice accomplishment ..nice only, but as i am sure you know, it does not eclipse the perfect season (which would have been JoePa's 4th I believe)which was well under way until the debacle @Kinnick Stadium.
Tomato...missed you but glad you were not there to rub it in. (I am MSU) Oh well, I expected you to beat us, I just though it wouldn't be such a spanking!
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
MT, Good morning Sunshine. Thinking about you this morning and sending hugs and prayers your way.
It sounded like your H packed with emotion, and angry. Did't give much thought to it or take enough stuff to be gone for long. Hang tight. He will be more miserable than you. Do not cave on your boundary, but be willing to forgive when you get the chance.
I'll update you all on my night when I get to work. Yes, I have to work today...when I wish I was home baking. Oh well.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Well this is the first time in probably 14 years since we moved in together that I have not talked to him before bed or in the morning. Isn't that sad. If he was away somewhere, we would talk before bed and then I would call to wake him up. He is hard to get up. I don't know where he went OW's or hotel or somewhere else. This morning, I thought about calling to make sure he was up, but I talked myself out of it. If he is gone, I can't help him. I think he took the truck so he wouldn't have to go out and start his truck he can do it from inside, what I always did with the jeep. I went to bed around 8:30 tried to read some, but fell asleep after 9:00. I guess I was tired. Woke up abruptly at at 3:49, I thought it was morning, the light was on still in the bedroom, the tv was blinking. I sometimes hope that when I have a weird feeling like that it makes me think I am thinking of someone who is thinking of me. I hope that when I woke up with such a start that maybe H was lying wherever thinking of me. Probably not, but I can hope. I didn't get up right away cause I thought it was time to get up, then I look at the clock. So I turned of the light and went back to sleep. Until 5:26 when the alarm, I use for H went off. I thought he might call me on his way to work, like he always did her. I know I did the right thing, but it hurts. I feel guilty cause I know what BG is going through right now is so much harder, but right now this has just crushed me.
Oh this is so hard. H just called me, I am so glad he did. I am crying now, I tried so hard not to and I did OK at the beginning. I am sitting here and I can't even think to type right now. Oh it hurts. He asked if I was up, I said yeah, I didn't have to work today. He said sorry I didn't know that. I told him we only work 24 hours this week, I have my 20 in so I am taking the other 4 of my Veteran's day. He asked if I was OK, I said I guess, I said are you and he said not yet. We talked a bit just about stuff, and football pool. I said I had seen one of the office people from his work, one the I went to school with, at Wal Mart last night as a new checker. H told that she had chewed out one of his work friends wife who works in the office and his friend's wife quit. I said good for her, they would only let her work 30 hours so they wouldn't have to pay insurance and stuff call in her for like 2 or 3 hours in the morning and then come back in the afternoon too. I told him he forgot his phone charger. He said yeah he knew he will probably turn his phone off because it will be dead. I asked if he was coming to dinner on Thursday he said yes 1:00. I said yeah, He said I will probably be out to load the truck up, He said is that OK, I said Yeah and then I started to say No, but he said, I mean your dad's truck (with the steel we want to haul off). He said is that OK, I said yeah. He asked again if I was OK, I wasn't good at DB'ing at all on this one, I just fell apart. I said I miss you. He said I miss you too, and was having problems saying it because he was starting to cry too. We were silent for a bit, and I said I have never not talked to you at night and then I started to cry again and we were quiet again. He was late to work if he was just leaving for work then where ever he was calling from on the road, as he had to be there in 7 min and we were on the phone that long. I said I better let you get into work, I was starting to cry again. H says can I call you again later, I said Yes. I almost said I love you and I stopped and said bye sorta. Nothing was coming out right. I know I have to be strong, it was so hard for me. I just sucked at it today. H said he just threw some stuff in bags. Yesterday, and he did forget the charger, he will come by and get the charger tonight. Oh I want him back so bad. I know it won't happen by I want my good life back so bad. I hate this.
morning Kel- I bet the house smells great!!! Hope you have a great day. I need to get to making the filling for my two pies. Have to stop crying before I can do that. LOL.
MT-The house will be smelling great soon. I can't wait to get started but this is more impt right now.
Yes you want him back. But if he comes back today, it won't be any different tomorrow. This is something that is going to take time. I have recently been accused of sitting on my ass in my own sitch and even though the person is at least half right, when dealing with MLC, it is hard to do much else sometimes. Plus for me, I have learned SO much about myself lately, my desires, my dreams, where I want to go, that I have to sit for a little while and then act in one way or the other. For you, I think it is time to sit a little too. You have done sooooo much in the last couple of weeks with the boundary and now this. I keep thinking about a movie I rewatched on TV about 2 weeks ago. Peggy Sue Got Married. Watch it. It reminded me about 2 things, things are not always what they seem to be from the outside, and no matter how hard we try, if something is suppossed to happen, it will. No matter what you do to stop it or make it happen. So honey, go rent it today and watch it while you are cooking.
You are going to cry ALOT right now. H will too for a while. It is like a death. A death of what you knew. I reminded LE last night of something he said about his own sitch. If it is to be, it will be a NEW M. The old one is dead. So let it go and see what happens. Enjoy dinner tomorrow. It could be the new beginning starting to unfold. You never know, but the more we try to control things, the more out of control they will become. Trust me on that one. I always forget that and it is never until I just go with things for a while that they seem to fix themselves. Maybe not the way I wanted them fixed but the way they should be.
PMS is over (Thank God) but I'll still cry with you if you need me to.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
kel- Thank you. That if he comes back today, it won't be any different tomorrow. Really made me think. I will find the movie and watch it. Thanks again for everything. Did new crusts....I think they had too much salt in them! LOL.
Oh well, I expected you to beat us, I just though it wouldn't be such a spanking!