It was the first time that we had talked like that. I did tell her, in not so many words, what I thought about her, but I also made it known that I'm still in love with the wife, and that if the wife and I didn't make it, I would be screwed up for a long time and that my girls would take priority over anyone in my life and always would.
In any case, she knows where I stand.
No, I doubt she does. Your WORDS may say all that, but your ACTIONS scream "I'm interested in you."
It started out with me trying to pick her brain and getting a POV from a woman who has been through crap too. How she felt after her breakup. Her feelings when she left him.
I thought I was doing the right thing, letting her know how I felt about the wife. That I'm in no position to date anyone right now. I still consider myself married and besides, too messed up inside.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
(((H4H))) despite what you told her, she is a woman who is VERY INTERESTED in you and is going to see that a 3 hour phone call sends a message. You could have been talking about auto parts and the gross national product, you were still talking to HER about it (you see?). Its kinda a girl thing, but its also part of the dance we do when we like someone, but we say we don't, eventhough we really do, and its safer to say that we are just "friends" because then it takes longer for us to admit to ourselves how we really feel. I'm not trying to bash you, but you have to recognize that any attention you pay to B is a signal to her that no matter what comes out of your mouth, you are contacting her, confiding in her, etc...
Originally Posted By: hopeful4her
I thought I was doing the right thing, letting her know how I felt about the wife. That I'm in no position to date anyone right now. I still consider myself married and besides, too messed up inside.
She doesn't HEAR what you say. She HEARS what you do!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Come here to pick a girl's brain or talk to some pro marriage friends that have been through it, like your guy, J. Talking about this kind of stuff when you are in the position you are in, and she is in the position she is in, is playing with fire AND sends the wrong message to her.
I commend you for telling her how you felt about your wife, finally, because you have spent a lot of time with her without telling her that. But, if you mean it you have to show this with actions, too.
Just keep moving forward in the right direction. I'm hoping the holidays will bless you with good things.
Oh, I lived in East Troy, Wisconsin for a couple years as a kid! Loved it! My dad had a motel there and it was a great place to be a kid.
I think the only word I pronounce with a Wisconsin accent is "car". For some reason I still say that word like I just moved from Wisconsin last month or something... Karen
It was the first time that we had talked like that. I did tell her, in not so many words, what I thought about her, but I also made it known that I'm still in love with the wife, and that if the wife and I didn't make it, I would be screwed up for a long time and that my girls would take priority over anyone in my life and always would.
In any case, she knows where I stand.
And she hears "screwed up" and thinks to herself, and I'm just the woman that can straighten him out and make him happy! Karen
All I can add is a huge DITTO!! Please quit the conversations with her. She wants you and will do what ever she can to help herself get you. She is a vulture plain and simple. I know that isn't what you want to hear but it is the truth. Save yourself the pain.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
