Jeff, I think the letter was great, and your wife IS responding. GIVE HER TIME. About the mattress. Are you SURE you know what kind of mattress she wants? I can see her getting upset that you didn't take her with you...what you got was too soft...too hard...pillow-top...not pillow-top, etc...You can't go wrong with one of those "sleep-number" mattresses. That way she can control the amount of softness she wants. BUT, you would have to sell your right arm to get it.
Things look promising for you. IN TIME. Promise us that when you two are reconciling, you'll take a break from all the sex you'll be having (on your new mattress) and drop in and say hi to us all.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
(((Jeff!))) Things are definitely "in motion", I would say!
Can you suggest moving the bed/mattress that she's been sleeping on into your room? I agree with those who wrote that you shouldn't invest in a new mattress without her input.
So, you'll be sharing a bed again this weekend... have you straightened up the room yet? Will you pick up another flower for the bedside table? Can you buy her a small token to let her know you're happy she's there- maybe a pair of fuzzy socks? A book she might like?
Can you suggest moving the bed/mattress that she's been sleeping on into your room?
Did that.... it's a full size that fits nicely in the guest room. The queen that's in the master wouldn't fit in there. I could try to suggest that I could move in there, but I don't think that's a great plan!
I'm straightening the room as we speak. The Orchid still lives, if I have time tomorrow evening, I will see if I can get some company for it. Even though her reaction to the orchid was negative. That's her problem!
Jeff, I dont feel like her solution regarding the clutter is appropriate either. I am just trying to see if I could motiviate you to do some things about it since it seems to be a real issue for her.
Dont forget to act as if. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
"She also mentioned that she will be in our room over the weekend."..WOW! She actually told you this time, instead of turning up! Thats brilliant, wow, what an effect your letter has had.
"I told her that I would like her to move back in permanently." - WOW!! You did !? Look at you go now! Thats so manly of you! She didnt freak out then, or say no,
"She said that she (1) hates the mattress, and (2) is really bothered by getting up much ealier than I do."
I agree.. GO GET A MATTRESS!!! Get it on 0% finance.. or in a sale. Tell her you listened to her complaint, felt she was right and wanted to show her that you listen.. so you bought a new mattress. She is giving you an opening here, take it! You might be playing hide-the-snake by New Year at this rate!!
"I said that I could adjust my schedule a bit, so that there wasn't that kind of problem. She said that I shouldn't do that, that she had adjusted her schedule to match mine when we were first married, and regretted it. I tried to explain that it really wouldn't be a bad thing if I did, but she didn't want to hear it. So I said maybe there was a compromise to be reached. She seemed to agree with that"
Again.. WOW !! You guys are negotiating! (in fact, even talking is amazing!). Defo change your schedule!
Today, Pluto moves signs.. its a shift, a change of the old order, end of the last 10-15 yaers.. into a new order. Its death and rebirth stuff. I'm not picking up here that she is pro-D, or its over, I see a woman slightly panicking and running to catch up a little with you and you growing in strength, power...
Of course, you are a Sagi and Pluto is moving OUT of Sagi.. so, this is huge for you Jeff this week.. and ongoing. Its a new start. Your ace!
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
(((((Donna))))) I feel better when there is less clutter, too. I just have a hard time getting there.
(((((Ali))))) I don't think she wants a D. But I also don't think she wants to be married. To her, the way we are living is acceptable. To me it isn't. I don't think it looks good. It is good that things are getting put on the table. She is going to have to face the consequences for the choices she wants to make. Maybe she'll change her mind.
(((((mishka))))) Stay positive! Change can be good!
I'm positive all right..........positive that you are going to get movement of some sort on your sitch by the new year because YOU have decided it is what you need. Good for you buddy!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
