Spending some "me" time is not only normal but necessary. Balance is the key, and I'm pretty confident you already know that. For me, what really helped dull the pain and sadness was hanging out with a group of people, new aquaintences. Just something about connecting with people who do not know your sitch really takes the heaviness of your constant thinking and obsessing over your sitch away for the time spent. For once I was able to take my mind off of my W completely for a span of 5 min. which steadily increased to hours. I think I was able to not think of her the entire day.
So did you attend a few meetups? How was Krav Maga? Make any new friends?
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
Thanks for checking in. Today is a down time. Actually, this week is pretty rough. I know that is tru for everyone here.
H and I should be in Quebec right now enjoying our annual non-Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving celebration. I thought I was doing a lot better and feeling a lot stronger and that I would be okay this week.
Turns out I am really sad and struggling to distract myself. I have cried about three times at work today. Fortunately, I can close my office door and no one knew.
Now I am heading home to the big empty house. I will try to distract myslef and will stop for some comfort food on the way.
It is hard when there is no one to hug you while you cry. I know that sounds needy and pathetic, but it has been a long time since someone just held me while I cried about this. Being strong on my own and comforting myself is a big 180 and I have done a pretty good job. Just not this week.
This is indeed going to be a very tough week, and I knew that going in. I've planned a myriad of activities that'll keep me out of the abode most nights this week leading to the extended weekend, and pretty much out and about from Thanksgiving day to Sunday. Keeping yourself "distracted" takes a LOT of courage and fortitude, hence my adage "you have to work real hard at having fun". There's really no sugar coating the "down" days...they're really bad. For myself and a few others here, Tues/Wed are usually when it hits.
Despite all of this, don't be discouraged. You've come such a long way to let this drag you under. Remember, you're trending upwards and onwards. Allow yourself to feel the sadness and loneliness, but don't fall prey to it...pull yourself out as soon as you can.
I hope you have significant plans for the long weekend. If you're not ready to socialize with groups of people, then pamper yourself crazy one day this week. Lord knows you deserve it! Might I suggest a little splurge and spend a few hours at a day spa like Burke Williams?
I'll be checking in on you (and others) from my mobile throughout this week in case you need someone to virtually hangout for a bit.
Just remember, this is probably way harder on your H than it is for you. Chin up, young lady
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
You are a prince! Thank you for your understanding and your support.
I have tried to schedule as much as possible, including a horseback riding lesson on Sunday but I have got to get better about the socializing. I have to admit I have been remiss.
This is my first solo holdiay and it really does suck, you are right that there is no sugar-coating it. I mean, I have a place to go on Thursday, my nephew's and he and his wife have been forwarned that I am doing a bit worse than I expected.
I got cocky, thinking I was doing so well and that I could handle it all. But you are right about trending upwards. I need to remember that and see this as only a mild, understandable, temporary dip.
It helps to know you are out there and that you will check on me. Thank you for that, it means more than you know.
{{{Beth}}} You know..I was having my own "cry fest" last night out of the blue and was thinking something so similar about I would just like hub to hold me while I cried..LOL..which, of course, wasn't going to happen..but I totally understand where you are coming from!
I'm glad you have plans for the week and somewhere to go on Thanksgiving..I'll be here thru the week myself, so let's keep each other company eh?!
Hey..are you in the alternate universe by chance?
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I will be glad to keep you company through the weekend. I will be on the boards all weekend, checking in.
I have seen references to the alternate universe but since I have no idea what it is, chances are pretty high that I am not on it. Although, one never knows - I am pretty clueless about all things internet (beyond your basic google searches and sites I use for work).
I am sorry you had a cry fest, I hope you are feeling better.
Beth Sorry to see you are little down this week. I know it is tough on you, but you can get through this. You are NOT cocky. You are just CONFIDENT, and you need to be. Um...food. What kind of comfort food??? A big bowl of chili?
Keep the PMA going....you need to.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
That was awesome. I actually laughed out loud. Thank you!
You know, they make something similar to that for women to put next to them in their cars so it looks like they are not alone. I am not kidding, it's a full-sized fake dude.
Now if they only could make them look and talk like Christian Bale...
