Hey everyone, sorry I stepped away for a bit, took a trip back in time...had to use a typewriter on a duplicate form... OMG!!! I never realized how much I use backspace on the computer. The forms were bank forms for our auditors with our account numbers on them. Took me like an hour of up and down line up line down, set margin, release margin. I love the computer so much BETTER!!!!
Wow BG- I would think there might be something to the kid thing or at least maybe something she is working anyway. I worry about H getting her pregnant, she is supposed to not be able to have any more kids, but I could see that happening. I would have to be done then.(I say that now, and before cheating was going to be it for me, we know better now don't we). It might be worth looking into at least to get it off your mind.
I am OK, my stomach is in knots right now. Has been most of the day. I keep thinking about things, them together, and I know everything I think is worse than what probably really is, but it is there right now.
Kel- I knew you had some more you wanted to say, and I don't mind if you ever say it!! I know what he is doing is very cruel to me and I don't deserve any of this.
It almost feels like when someone you love dies, but they have been suffering so it is better that they have passed, but it still makes you wish with all of your heart that this had never happened in the first place.
I know I have to be OK, and I can't let him use me as the doormat any longer. If he doesn't leave the house but continues to see her, I will have a set of rules that will be put out there, I won't be catering to him any longer. If he is mad I can see him pull the I am not leaving either. Life here won't be near as easy and grand when I am not picking up all the pieces for him.
I so appreciate everyone who gives me the great advice and support. I feel a bit more like I have a direction now, and not as much in limbo.
I emailed my SIL (the one I like) and let her have a heads up on what was going on. She replied back to me:
"I think he needs to make a choice. It may not be the choice you and I want but, you are right not to continue to let this go on. I know he will regret this all later. You know I haven't even talked to him. SIL's H says that my H won't say anything to him when they run into one another. SIL told him what's he going to say I'm screwing up and I know it."
H's BIL and him have always been fairly close H has farmed for him in his off time and of all the brother's and sister's they are our favorites. I told SIL he has two lives right now and when BIL crosses over to the other life H doesn't know what to do.
Thank you again! Keep all the 2x4's and everything else coming! I need them!
