I like what Ali suggests in having Dan not around to fake the happy family during the holidays.
I have to be frank, but reading your list makes me think that he will cheat again in the future.
The kids are indeed getting a long term lesson in life. As I told Mules, indecision will be like a knife through their hearts that just keeps getting twisted. BobbiJo, you need to be the one to lead and not analyze his every move. And most importantly, dont be an enabler that allows him to keep with the status quo like Jeff's wife has been living.
