So she had this fantasy life in mind where she was going to live this 'totally free and independent life' and keep me as a best friend forever. Basically it was like being married, except no committment on her part and no sex.
I think your C is right on the mark. You are enabling your wife to have a fantasy life. She gets all your support and affection. Yet she gets to have the OM as well.
IMO, you can't let this continue. I think even two days a week is a bit much. IMO, you should go even darker. Drop the rope and distance yourself. Stop supporting her. Let her know that the OM has to go... now.
I know this is very scary. Your petrified that she will be lost if you stop supporting her. I went through the same things. But it's like the old quote from the movie "field of dreams": "If you build it, they will come". It speaks to confidence. Your wife says there is hope. She likes your support and affection. She will want to get this back.
But be aware, if you do this there is a period where the WAS tends to have kind of a temper tantrum. You need to have the disipline to get through that without giving in.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
