I am having an 'ok' morning...feeling a little crappy. Trying to figure out how I want these next few days to go...
H at first said he wasn't sure he would go to my family's Thanksgiving, b/c he felt uncomfortable when he knew that they knew what he had done to hurt me and mess things up....
Then he said never mind, he would go, I think mostly so the kids don't ask him why he is not going...
Then I am going to his family celebration on Saturday with his parents, grandparents, and one aunt/uncle and their kids (their kids are our age), plus his 2 sisters and their kids. So there will be like 25 of us there...
I always liked hanging out with that particular group, we haven't gotten together in 5 years I think. We play cards, eat, talk, etc etc
Then on Sunday is my sister's D5's birthday party. H hasn't said whether he will go I am sure he does not want to.
So the question is
DO we play happy family this week and go with the flow, or what?
The thing is, it isn't hard at all for us to spend the day together as a family, we do it a lot. But at the same time to me it feels deceptive b/c we are around all of these people acting like things are fine when really H is just waiting to find a place so he can move out.
On one hand, I think, having nice 'family' time could reinforce to H how much we do have going for us. On the other, I feel like it just keeps me in the role of loving doormat, willing to keep quiet and act 'as if' so I don't ruffle any feathers and make my H uncomfortable.
