The night sucked the morning sucked worse! Well yesterday was OW's Birthday....how did I find that out? Went out to start up H's jeep this morning and a pink receipt fell out of the door, It was from a flower shop, a dozen long stem red roses and two balloons. I was crushed.
H didn't get home until after 2:00. He slept out on the couch, I got him up this morning, didn't say anything to him, him nothing to me. I go outside to start the jeep, it wasn't covered in frost because he didn't get home until late. So I come in after I find the receipt, I am very upset, not crying just can't breath. I look at H and he says what is wrong, takes me a bit to say you bought her roses and balloons. H responds shortly it was her Birthday. I just looked at him. Then I said, and I wish I wouldn't have, You never bought me a dozen roses, H said I have bought you lots of stuff. I said yes you have bought me lots of stuff. I think I said something like and you don't think that hurts me? I tell him, I told you I am not going to share, H says fine I will be out of here tonight. I said I don't want you to leave, but I can't do this. Why didn't you want to talk to me last night, H says I didn't not want to. I said you didn't talk gave me short one word answers. He doesn't say anything. I said Are you even trying to come back to me? H says I was. I said did she know this? I says I would think so. I so wish I would have said, giving a gift of 12 red roses, doesn't make something you aren't trying to work on thing with your wife. But I didn't think of that until later. Damn it. I said if you want to work I don't want you to leave. I told him I worried about him last night he H never really said anything else to me. Then he left.
I wish I wouldn't have said anything, Yes I needed to say again I am not sharing, but why did I say You never bought me 12 roses. I wish I would have said that you don't let someone know you are working on your marriage by giving them red roses! I could just kick myself.
So who knows what this will lead to now. I may get home tonight and everything of his will be gone. I hope not, and I know I didn't over react, because red roses don't say I don't want to be with you.
So here I am at work, on 3 hrs sleep and now maybe without my H.
