Maybe I should be in piecing part 4?

[Hope4us]

Thanks Pup.

One of the things I've thought about lately is are the things like this, i.e., the not thanking me for stuff or not apologizing for stuff the way I want but her doing it in her own way. And if it never bothered me in the past because I just know that's how she is, is it just because of the affair that now it's magnified and it bothers me now? I hope that makes sense.

Well, I gave her the letter. I know you guys recommended that I don't, but I had to go with my gut on this one. So I left it for her when I went to get S20, and I don't know for sure, but it might have been another step in the right direction. She called me twice while I was gone and both times wanted to TALK about stuff (not R stuff). And then she started TM'ing me like crazy. This is very different than it's been in a long time. In the past she might call me and ask a question and then immediately get off the phone or send me one or two TM's, but it was like she WANTED to talk to me.

And when we got home she had this look on her face when she was talking to me and there was some good natured banter back and forth and even this morning (W is NOT A MORNING person) she came downstairs before I left and was talking, talking.

So maybe I said some stuff in the note that she needed to hear. Maybe it gave her the hope she was looking for. Still remains to be seen. Could be that she feels like I gave her a get out of jail free card when I told her I'd mostly forgiven her and had let go of most of the anger.

Now Pup, don't tell me I went soft. I also put in there I was going to keep loving her without expectations until she either decided to give us a try or until I couldn't do it anymore and then I would have a decision to make. So it was almost like a carrot and a stick. I forgive her, but I'm not waiting forever. I also acknowledged for the first time that what she was feeling for OM was real to her and I understood how it could happen and that I was scared to try with her too because once someone has an affair they are more likely to go there again than they would be in the first place, but I was willing to take that risk because the reward if we do make it is worth it to me.

Ok, 2x4 away......