So, last thread locked, not sure what number I'm up to now. The new thread title is to do with my love of poker, but also as after seeing a second solicitor yesterday, it does seem my STBX is holding all the cards. They are Aces as they are my boys and they are Ace !!!
So, solicitor was good, scary at first but he explained and even apologised a bit later as he was trying to feel me out to check I got the basic concept if we go to court, that the judge is all for the kids first and foremost, then others things follow a far behind 2nd. I was aware of this, but maybe not to the point where our home etc comes in. It wasn't all bad as he explained things so I could understand better (previous didn't really explain) and also offered me some suggestions, explained how he would likely fight different situations if it went to court.
So, for now, I am trying to get a place to move into in January as once I have my living costs, I'll have a better argument for what I can and cannot afford. Need to go through both our expenses again but come up with a new draft agreement for mediation. Oh, on the positive, he did say her initial deposit would likely be irrelivent as we've been together 12 years, but also that she is unlikely to get 75% as she wants. So once, mediation doc drawn up, we go back there, then let the solicitors fight it out when she doesn't agree I guess.
He did say however, that my access, unless we can agree it, would more likely be what my W is suggesting. I got annoyed at that, but he is just managing my expectations I guess. I miss my boys so much it hurts big time. I got frustrated a couple of times as I just couldn't believe how the law works so that it is so one sided, just because she is the mother and has looked after them full time while I was at work earning so we could all live, she is seen as primary caregiver etc. I understand that, but it's how it was, the future does not have to be like that but the legal system does not seem to recognise that. It's rubbish and really gets my goat.
