We have made it to the other side 3

[yellowrose]

ba

I hear the frustation in your post. I DID get to the point you are. Whereas each sitch is different and you know your h better than anyone, I went with my gut. I got so fed up with him running back and forth from em to the ow, I put my foot down.

What really broke the camels back is I asked him for money for groceries and he yelled at me. I told him to forget it and kiss my azz. I told him I was done playing games with him and he needed to make up his mind what he wanted. I told him not to call or come over until he did that.

A couple of days later he calls and I let the VM pick it up. I didn't want to talk to him. He left a message on the machine that he just needed to hear my voice. A couple of days later he called again, I didn't pick up. The thrid time he called I did and he asked me what he needed to do tomake things right. I told him and he started working on them.

Remember my h wasn't living at home but the first couple of months after the bomb. To me it sounds like you h is having his cake and eating it too, just as my h did. Sometime I think they need a swift kick in the behind, IMHO.

Does that make sense?

Y

[yellowrose]

SC

I went with my gut feeling most of the time during this crap. I trust my gut feelings the most.

Just take it slowly and maybe combine DB and your C. If something doesn't work change it a little.

It was all confusing to me is that is any help!!! LOL

Y

[yellowrose]

TL

Thank you!!! Have a lovely week too!

Y

[ba065]

YR:

Thanks for your input! I think I'm in the right "place" emotionally to issue an ultimatum. I'm so tired of the games and him lying to my face daily. I don't even ask questions and he volunteers false information to cover his tracks. He must think I'm the dumbest person on the planet. After the holidays I think I'm going to put my foot down and stick to it. I can't live this way...I shouldn't have to. If his choice is to leave then I guess that's what I'll have to face. I'm not giving up on my M....I'm just not willing to be lied to anymore and to have him think it's acceptable to behave the way he is.

Thank you so much for posting and answering all of our questions! You have no idea how much your wisdom has helped so many of us here!

Have a great Thanksgiving...in case I don't get the chance to talk to you before then!

Hugs!

BA

[Upside]

Hi yr-
Thanks for stopping by my thread and for the reassurance. My H and I had MC tonight. I felt so frustrated over the weekend...but my H has a way to make it seem like I make something out of nothing. Sometimes it makes me feel like I am losing my mind. Oh well, for the moment things are better.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

(((HUGS)))

[Dawn of Hope]

YR,
If you have some time, could you stop by my thread? I could really use some advice/support right now. Really appreciate it!

Peace,
Dawn

[Silent Chrleader]

{{{{{YR}}}}}

I too usually go with my gut, but after all this, my trust in my own judgement is very shaky.

H does seem to at least be trying to be open and not get angry with any "heavy" talk I do, but I fear what he may be holding back. I know he is skeptical and cautious, and he even said that he fears how I'll react if he still wants out after I have "done everything he has ever asked". So, that makes me feel like he has his mind made up and is just "going through the motions". And I fear that he is using his "feelings" to make the decision and his feelings aren't to be trusted!

Did your H sound like this? I know your H lived with the other woman for 2 years? My H, as far as I know, only had a "one-off" with his secretary and I am afraid that he will not be able to get through this "journey" unless/until he pursues other relationships in more depth. He still says he has those feelings. Sometimes I think I should just tell him to go ahead....

I, too, can't express enought my gratitude for your willingness to share your experience with all of us here. You give us hope an that is a gift that is very precious right now in the lives of many of us here.

[yellowrose]

ba

Just make sure that you are in the right place. I know I was because I was so tired! Just be prepared for the consquences. I too still stood for my M!

Y

[yellowrose]

Up

You are welcome. This part of this horrible journey is very hard. I found it hard to keep my mouth shut, but I did.

Hang in there.

Y

[yellowrose]

Dawn

I will go and check out your thread.

Y