Divorced but hoping to Reconcile

[FaithfulH]

LNMW,

I just caught up on your sitch. You seem to be doing very well in showing your W unconditional love. I have a few thoughts I would like to share.

You are my everything. I don't know how I am going to make it this coming year without you. This winter seems so cold and isolated. My patience and faith is being tested to the utmost extreme. And yet you waited for me - only that I took too long to come back. So now I will wait for you, not knowing what the outcome will be. Regardless, may your days always be filled with love, joy and peace.

• When I read the faux letter you wrote to your W it made me wonder if you had too high of an expectation of your W. It has been said that each of us has a God-sized hole in our heart that only He can fill. Your undying love for her is tremendous and admirable, but your W cannot fill that hole. That is not to say that our spouses do not play a significant role in our spiritual growth and maturity....but, their role is unique. You seem to be hearing from God...and responding. Focus on your relationship with God...and I'm betting your relationship with your W will improve
  
• Check out Rejoice Marriage Ministries for some awesome teachings on marriage reconciliation.
  
• Listen to Secrets of a Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch for some great insights on strengthening your relationship
  
• Think of your marriage as a convenant relationship which was recognized and committed to in the presence of our creator by your vows. In this context, your divorce is simply a man-made document. Think of your "ex" (and describe her here) as your wife. I would be careful not to do this in your W's presence as she will certainly take this as pressure.

Your wife is acting like you are married in many, many ways except....you don't live in the same household....she doesn't describe you as a couple....and sexual intimacy is absent. There are many positives I can see....she treats you like her confidante calling you at all hours of the day and night. She wants to share special occasions with you (her 30th). She trusts you with your daughter....even when you missed the appointment she didn't make a big deal of it.

I think she keeps stating that "she will never be your GF or wife again"...because she knows the opposite to be true and she hasn't totally reconciled with the idea. Keep doing more of what works....and less of what doesn't. Keep working on you....for you!!!....and I'm betting your wife will be home "soon" (in God's perfect timing)

Best wishes...and I have added you and your W to my prayer list! Also, we have a group of almost 20 men who are standing for the restoration of their marriages who meet monthly in the NY/NJ/CT/PA area and I will ask them to pray for you as well.