Actually, I don't think of it as one. I actually was grateful that you reminded me that I am the kind of person who can forgive and lift her up. I think you thought I was being snippy but I wasn't. Can't always get the emotion across in a post. I'll buy that.
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But your words sound edgy at times and I know I have called you on the bitterness in the past but the problem Frank, is really the BURDEN. The burden of being called to keep being bigger and rise above so much friggin NONSENSE. It is, quite honestly, a colossal pain in the ass that goes against every natural instinct that we have.
Yes it does. And we're not like so many others who can't get beyond the hurt and anger. This is our calling in life, and we're good at it. BE VERY CAREFUL - there is a trap in knowing you're "good" at this. That you keep getting back up. Trust me, it's a trap. Self-assuredness can give way to foolish pride before you know what hit you. I'm just warning you. Be vigilant.
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This is about YOU and YOUR relationship with Him - which, if you had one, you'd be changing from the inside and you'd soon not be able to do anything OTHER than what Jesus would do. And it would become the natural order of how you do things. Because that's what happens. When you let Him lead. I'm not saying you wouldn't still have to stifle your flesh daily. I'm saying it would start getting a heck of a lot easier.
agreed, I still cycle but not as much any more. Today I feel calm. Faith is not a "cycle" and that's what I was talking to you about here. You can't just whip out the Jesus card when you're slinking along rock bottom. What are you going to do about what you've learned from the believers among us? When are you going to address it? It's on the bottom of your list but it should be at the top because therein lies the answer to the rest of the things on your list.
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You're still questioning every move she makes and everything she says. That tells me that at least on some level, you're still wondering what your REaction ought to be. That is strategizing and you are past that point. It's time to get real.
Yep, I realized that this morning, like I said I 'picked up the rope and got rope burns' so I'm dropping it again. Good luck with that. I no longer believe dropping the rope is a cognizant choice.
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You can let this situation make you bitter or you can let it make you better.
I'm a lot less bitter that I was a month ago. I'm getting there. Really.Good. So long as you don't let yourself pedal backwards for long, doing so occasionally is part of the process. Just get back to looking ahead and aiming.
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Just as an example, you could have drawn your wife into the deal with the laptop. I don't care if you're the computer whiz or not, she could have had some input because it's also HER daughter. It would have gone a long way to making her feel that she had SOMETHING to contribute - to making her feel respected - even if she just said to D13 "What about a pink one?" or something lame like that.
You know, in this case I was actually worried she'd get mad at me so I didn't say anything about it. Weird huh?Yeah. That you were basically a chicken. I wonder why extending the olive branch and doing the right thing is so hard for us, just to merely take into consideration another's feelings...we basically suck at that. How pitiful is it we have to LEARN this?
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Additionally, I would be interested to know what you are teaching your daughters about respect. I read and understand how they feel and they are absolutely 110% justified based on your wife's actions as of late.
As a rule I always tell them to be better with their mother. And I do tell them when I think they have done something I feel was disrespectful. I also let them vent and do my best not to take sides Letting them vent is a good thing and you know I support that. There's a line though and a time and a place to take sides. .
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Your 17 year old is lucky she didn't get smacked in the mouth when she said "...when you're a guest in someones house you should be neater".
HOW DARE THAT CHILD SPEAK TO HER MOTHER LIKE THAT.
If I had been present I would have said something right away. I've done that before and I won't tolerate her attitude.
But W was there and SHE should have put her in her place. You expected your wife to all of a sudden be able to put on the robe of a reasonably offended and righteous mother? Ain't happening. Because she lives everyday with the feeling that that ISN'T her home anymore and she IS just a guest and IT IS AWKWARD no matter who decided she needed to leave.
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But I am even less a fan of you continuing to believe the false notion that you're somehow better than Lori because you aren't drinking and now you're making money while she doesn't have a pot to piss in.
Good point. Sometimes I look down on her because, here she has a man like me who would do anything for her, and she can't see it. After 3 years of getting kicked in the teeth every time I thought I had it right, I totally feel you here. And she hurts her kids over and over because SHE has to 'be happy' And how's that working out for her? It ain't. I wonder what it would be like if you could go to sleep one night and dream the feelings that she feels...I wish that were possible. Then you'd understand better what there's no way even I can convey. .
I do my best to not look down on her. Most of the time I'm decent I know you are .
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Then come back and call bullsh*t if you know in your heart and gut that I'm wrong.
I have more things I need to improve. Like I said I think some of my feelings are being misread but I also see many of your points.
I'm at a point where I can let it go and just be me. Thanks Amy
