LE - Just catching up and WOW, you've had a few days. Take things slow bruv as you know, keep doing what your doing and try and plan for responses to possible remarks from your W. The hurting you turned round to hurting the kids sounds a little blaming on your W to me. Just be careful how you word things as it seems your making some progress here now.
I do agree you are definately right to stand your ground re your W having IC and you both going to MC. Also, something I said I would need to do was to start by dating again first whilst living apart so as the kids do not know and get over excited as it will take time.
GL buddy, keep us posted. Thanks for stopping by my thread
Yes, LE I'll start with the 2x4 but I'll make it a 2x2. She is hurting you, not just the kids. Why protect her from that? Plus, making it seem like you blame her for hurting kids and in the end, that will make her be a much worse mother. Guilt makes mothers overinduldge kids and it isn't pretty in the long run.
Ok, now everything else. She is calling you for stupid little things that she could figure out herself like a broken DVD. She is using any excuse to talk to you even briefly to see where you are in your head. If you seemed bothered and annoyed, she wouldn't call again. If she wasn't thinking about things, she wouldnt' call at all. She wants to postpone court date. That is fantastic! Well actually the fact that she forgot about it is even better. I have seen L when they have clients who aren't 100% push, just to get it over with. So maybe she needs a new L. That you realize you gave her your power (which you were doing with kids with OM too BTW) that is an incredible realization and a major awakening cuz now you can take it back. You aren't a Taurus are you? Sorry that has just been a running theme for Taurus lately.
Finally and here is the big one. LE-in you heart of hearts, what do you want? Not for kids, but for LE. Your kids will grow up and someday it will just be you and whoever ends up being your S. What risks are you willing to take to get what you want? I keep telling someone else that as soon as you get comfortable with one idea, be prepared that she will change. In the end, it may not be reconciled, but she will change and the opportunity will present itself. To see if it is even really a possibility. That is happening here as well my friend. Do not rush it, do not push. That will just chase her away, not give you time to really think about you. History, the past, in some ways you have to forget all of that stuff. This is like meeting someone for the first time and getting to know them. Then see where the road takes you. Breathe. I'm really proud of you.
BTW-you forgot me in your DB trip. I found the place. I get no credit for that? LOL.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
And MC..you are right..all reconcilations should be that way and too bad all of our spouses can't take that phrase to heart..it was well spoken indeed!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement and support! W called me yesterday at 9:30 and woke me up to tell me her L was filing for a continuance to push it back to after the Holidays and maybe the first of the year. Somewhat a relief. It has me thinking again if I go back now, am I only doing it for the kids and because it is right for them. I think k asked what is right for me? IDK? In the last couple of weeks I've had more thoughts of what could be for me in a couple of years when I've paid off our debt. If our economy hasn't collapsed completely and I still have a job I will be in pretty good shape financially and could build my house at that time. I don't want to go back and then this happens again in another couple of years.
W called me around 6:00 to ask how to make something in the kitchen. She said "Wish you were here to eat with us." WTH? That threw me for a loop. I thought about Arthur saying to have some rehearsed answers for possible questions she might ask. W has been sick and sounds awfully hoarse. I went to bed about 8:45 and never got a call from the kids.
I am ready for Thanksgiving with my brother's family and getting away from work for more than a day.
I am out for the rest of the day. Going to do the work that didn't happen last week at my off-site with a contract crew.
Last edited by Little Engine; 11/25/0801:48 PM.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Seems she is thowing herself out to you a bit lately. Suppose you got to be careful of her thinking she is trying enough and you not hearing/seeing (Venus v Mars thing) and letting yourself get sucked in to be spat out again.
How's about to a similar line (if you didn't say that). That would of been nice, maybe if you'd like me over for a meal another time we can plan for it so I don't miss out. (please word better yourself obviously)
