I dont think this is going to be easy. A year ago, my W left to to do a 10 day trial run of separation by house-sitting a coworkers house. As the time was coming to an end, I had to state to her strongly 3 different times that if she still wanted to date other men that she was not moving back in. I used no legal threats - only myself saying that I required my dignity and expected her to respect that. I found that if I asked her to think what she would do if the roles where reversed helped in her understanding why she needed to not live under my roof.
Just wanted to dedicate my thousandth post to my three boys - S14, S10 and S7. Though they'll never read this they are my world. No matter what anyone puts me through - my life is dedicated to making theirs better. Their Dad is a strong man from the inside out because they are worth it. I cherish them every single day - good times or bad. I know things are going to get worse before they get better but at least we always have each other to find fun and happiness. I'm so proud of them for so many reasons. I can't imagine what is going through their minds during this time but I know how solid they are and what they want. God couldn't have given me anything better in this life - so I don't regret any time spent or any decisions I have made so far.
Whether they are getting cut from a team, scoring the winning basket, failing a test or getting a game winning hit - I am there in the same capacity for them. And I am proud of them for the effort - that's all I ever ask. I want to thank them for bringing me such joy. They bring out emotions I never knew I had. I tell them all I would walk in front of a train for them. I mean it. No hesitation. As long as I have them in my life nothing else matters. They are my best friends.
Hey S14 - whose the wild man now?? Hey S10 - keep the drive alive Hey S7 - make em remember the night they faced us
Laser Tag, Call of Duty, Hoosiers, Hulk, Blue Chips, Mets, Knicks, Giants, Rangers, Fantasy Football, Popcorn, Wake, UNC, G Tech, Football on the knees, Football in the back, McFlurry's, Hot Cakes - W out sausage, Duncan, Fast pitch in the basement, golf in SC, Dad's french vanilla on the tie, Hey Kato, jersey boys, the Movie Game, blackouts, Dad's finishing move, first win, first hit, first basket, first goal, CYO, scoreboards, bad refs, pizza, good soda places, mickey d's after the game, fast food - it's fast and it's food, RUDY, the Rookie, GamePlan, Dark Knight, Take Us Out - from Rudy soundtrack - the most inspiring minute and 45 secs EVER, Yo Adrian - I did it, I know you weren't the one that got Penny in trouble - when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong, Texas Steakhouse,the Ocean Course, the Beach Club, Superman Returns in NYC, squeeze your cheeks together, Krazy, Show Me what you got, Like Mike, Buffalo Wings, Supe 42, You Gotta Love it!, Granma's after Report Cards,Are you my Mom?,French Apple Pie, Skidmarks from Granpa P, Tom Sawyer drum solo,Rocky 3, dad on black ice, the diner, ali baba, Ant's boots, I can't, don't call me Dude, hit me in the bread basket, hit me in the adam's apple, the tooth fairy crashed on the way home, the babe said its good for my complexion, I want a toy, --down, down down, red knight's going down --and the best basement basketball court ever, and so much more...guys - I love you forever - no matter what.
Last edited by mulesqb; 11/24/0810:10 PM.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Oh my gosh..that last post about your boys was the sweetest thing..are you trying to see how many women you can get to cry on this board at the same time?? {{{Mules}}}
WOW..glad you checked in, but what a week you've had..wow that was an amazing thing you said to your wife..I may do what BG said and, if my hub stays out all night like that, may have to borrow that!
SMW..you had me laughing and BG I agree..I should get a bigger purse if that is all it took LOLOL!!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
only myself saying that I required my dignity and expected her to respect that. I found that if I asked her to think what she would do if the roles where reversed helped in her understanding why she needed to not live under my roof.
Ladies, look away I don't want to offend y'all here.
I think the path you have now taken here is absolutely right on target. I think its VERY important to not be an enabler of the retarded and you most certainly can't be in a position where you don't have clear and exact explanation for what's going on for your kids. YOUR actions have to be 100% about your kids.
When they truly grasp what's going on, indecision will be like a knife through their hearts that just keeps getting twisted. What matters is keeping the pain for them to a minimum. It's their integrity that is hurt by her actions of pretending none of this matters to them.
Stay calm - focus on your kids and everything will eventually come to rest in a better place.
only myself saying that I required my dignity and expected her to respect that. I found that if I asked her to think what she would do if the roles where reversed helped in her understanding why she needed to not live under my roof.
Ladies, look away I don't want to offend y'all here.
Kerry, you had a wife that listened to logic?
I got lucky that time. Most other times, logic only pissed her off more.
Just wanted to dedicate my thousandth post to my three boys - S14, S10 and S7. Though they'll never read this they are my world. No matter what anyone puts me through - my life is dedicated to making theirs better. Their Dad is a strong man from the inside out because they are worth it. I cherish them every single day - good times or bad. I know things are going to get worse before they get better but at least we always have each other to find fun and happiness. I'm so proud of them for so many reasons. I can't imagine what is going through their minds during this time but I know how solid they are and what they want. God couldn't have given me anything better in this life - so I don't regret any time spent or any decisions I have made so far.
Whether they are getting cut from a team, scoring the winning basket, failing a test or getting a game winning hit - I am there in the same capacity for them. And I am proud of them for the effort - that's all I ever ask. I want to thank them for bringing me such joy. They bring out emotions I never knew I had. I tell them all I would walk in front of a train for them. I mean it. No hesitation. As long as I have them in my life nothing else matters. They are my best friends.
Hey S14 - whose the wild man now?? Hey S10 - keep the drive alive Hey S7 - make em remember the night they faced us
Laser Tag, Call of Duty, Hoosiers, Hulk, Blue Chips, Mets, Knicks, Giants, Rangers, Fantasy Football, Popcorn, Wake, UNC, G Tech, Football on the knees, Football in the back, McFlurry's, Hot Cakes - W out sausage, Duncan, Fast pitch in the basement, golf in SC, Dad's french vanilla on the tie, Hey Kato, jersey boys, the Movie Game, blackouts, Dad's finishing move, first win, first hit, first basket, first goal, CYO, scoreboards, bad refs, pizza, good soda places, mickey d's after the game, fast food - it's fast and it's food, RUDY, the Rookie, GamePlan, Dark Knight, Take Us Out - from Rudy soundtrack - the most inspiring minute and 45 secs EVER, Yo Adrian - I did it, I know you weren't the one that got Penny in trouble - when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong, Texas Steakhouse,the Ocean Course, the Beach Club, Superman Returns in NYC, squeeze your cheeks together, Krazy, Show Me what you got, Like Mike, Buffalo Wings, Supe 42, You Gotta Love it!, Granma's after Report Cards,Are you my Mom?,French Apple Pie, Skidmarks from Granpa P, Tom Sawyer drum solo,Rocky 3, dad on black ice, the diner, ali baba, Ant's boots, I can't, don't call me Dude, hit me in the bread basket, hit me in the adam's apple, the tooth fairy crashed on the way home, the babe said its good for my complexion, I want a toy, --down, down down, red knight's going down --and the best basement basketball court ever, and so much more...guys - I love you forever - no matter what.
Oh my gosh..that last post about your boys was the sweetest thing..are you trying to see how many women you can get to cry on this board at the same time?? {{{Mules}}}
WOW..glad you checked in, but what a week you've had..wow that was an amazing thing you said to your wife..I may do what BG said and, if my hub stays out all night like that, may have to borrow that!
SMW..you had me laughing and BG I agree..I should get a bigger purse if that is all it took LOLOL!!
Tawnya
Hey Tawnya - Thanks for keeping up with me. Still having a lot of drama at home. She freaked out about me not paying her bills. Now she is reaching out to her family. I am looking for some downtime from all of this. Trying to remember that someone told me anger is good from her. Well, then I'm in great shape!!
Hope you are well. I need to check into your sitch. You're better off with a small purse!
By the way - nobody she more tears than me with that post. I could have gone on for a while, but had to stop.
Last edited by mulesqb; 11/25/0804:14 PM.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
