Thanks TG! I appreciate your view of the sitch! Is your W starting to turn around? Or does it seem like she is?
This weekend, I had to have a not so fun convo with my W about money. We still share some bills, like the credit card we use to get gas and the car insurance and payments, and of course the boys school. To make a long story short, we agreed to just put gas on the credit card and also when we eat together we use it. Well, since my W was very short and money, she kept using it more and more for her groceries and other stuff. At the same time, she's not been transferring what we agreed on into our joint account to pay for those bills. So now she's 3 months behind on that and I can't just keep taking money out of the boys savings account to cover that! So I told her we needed to talk about that.
When she came over to pick up the boys yesterday, we had a calm discussion. She said that she had a lot of bills to pay and said she doing the best she can. She also said that she knows that those are not my problems and so she gave me back the credit card and said she just wants to separate as much things as we can. She said she does not want me to have to stress out about her putting money in the account. I told her I don't have any money left after paying all the bills for our house either, just my savings, but I don't want to use any of that for bills. She was not mad or anything, just said she knows that her not keeping up is stressing me out and that we agreed to make the separated sitch "fair" financially (she pays for her place, I pay for our house), and that is not what's happening.
Afterwards, we had a lighter convo about Thanksgiving. We're going to her parents and we are cooking stuff together at the house and then we'll bring it over there.
Overall, I don't see a negative reaction in her over this, but I feel bad because I know I am putting her in a pinch. But on the other hand, I can't jusy keep covering her expenses either. Setting boundaries, right?? Like tough love??
So maybe I did good in that sense. Like I said, she didn't seem mad at all, just apologetic. I hope we can still keep the babysteps coming despite the more dire financial sitch she's gonna be in....
