Is this worth saving, or am I only fooling myself?

[Dash]

I have OM's phone number and email address, should I call or email him? If I do, what should I say/ask? I don't know what the right thing to do is anymore. It's been six weeks today and we're father apart now than we've ever been.

Saturday wasn't a good day. I do great with no contact all week and am even able to put her out of my mind a bit, but then I see her on Saturdays looking happy and chipper while I'm miserable and I just lose it completely and backslide all the way back to the beginning.

I'm really at my wit's end. And earlier today I almost had another anxiety attack.

I need some major help folks.