Well, Saturday marked a year that H walked out on me for OW. He's still deep into MLC. He thinks everyone should accept her and that I should 'get over it'.
I've learned what my part was in this. Not showing him enough attention, not appreciating him enough, not putting him first over our children. I've learned that sometimes in order to get you have to give ALOT before you get anything.
I've always been a very independent person. I had to be since H's job took him away alot. I've learned that sometimes it's good to need someone. I can't do everything. I'm not superwoman.
I've learned that I'm a very beautiful person inside and out. So what if I'm not as skinny as I was 20 years ago. I shouldn't let that slow me down. I'm still me and a lot of people love me. Too bad H can't but that's his loss.
Too bad I didn't learn these lessons years ago. I also wish that I'd read DB years ago. Maybe I wouldn't be here now.
H has no plans whatsoever to ever get back with me. H is done with me.
H and I bearly communicate. Our S's are older and do not require us in communication like those with younger children do.
I'm still not sure how to get H to notice me if he lives 1 1/2 hrs away and we don't talk. Any suggestions anyone?
So, it's just me against the world. I can do this. Granted, I wish I was doing it with H by my side like we planned 21 yrs ago.
