2008 = Crazy Year (Numb 19)

[sandi2]

Good for you. Women (and some men) are bad to say something disrespectful and if their S lets them get away with it, then they start falling into a bad habit of it and then they really do start disrespecting their H's. So, nip it in the bud.

Take care,
Sandi

[yenko69]

Glad that is not a line you will cross. My W yelled at me once she would not let D11 see me again (actually a sd.). After D11 yelled at her and went to MIL and cried, SD17 came up an yelled at W. It was a little odd since the strained R I have with SD17. It got the point across though.

She choose to have OM over for SD17 B-day last month. I hit her with a rather harsh letter over the deal. She got the point that she F'up big time over it.

Stand your ground. You are a good guy and a great dad. Hold your boundaries and defend yourself.

[lost_in_space]

Ust wanted to post something that I sent in an e-mail to GFw. She had sent W and I a very moving e-mail about praying for us and begging us to begin communicating to try and solve this (however that might be) for the sake of the k's.

Excerpts from my reply:

It is this that I struggle with. The deception. To walk away knowing the deception continues, impacting the kids, is something I cannot bring myself to do.

It is this that I pray for daily - the strength to work through that and do the right thing, whatever that might be.

Sadly (or so it seems) I do still love W with all my heart. It is a heart that is hurt, crushed, torn apart - but also one that I now have a wall around. Isn't it ironic that I am still feeling this? It makes no sense but it is what it is.

It is because of those feelings that I have in essence let her go. She is doing what she wants when she wants. She lives a life right now that is really devoid of responsibility.

Will I get to the point where I agree to leave? I do not think so. She wants out, she is living a single life and continues to carry on outside our marriage and family. Maybe I will get there someday - but I am not there yet.


Just needed to get that out there...

[marriedCrazy]

I'm with you bro..

I'm in the exact same position. W is living single and free. I have yet to really put her in a position where she will suffer from her consequences.

Working on that though.

[whatdidido]

lis, your feelings make sense to me. Keep praying and keep waiting and keep fighting.

[lost_in_space]

wdid, I will try to keep fighting. I wil keep praying, but I am sure His lines are jammed...

I realize that part of my post above was cut off. Here it is again for completeness...
******************************

It is this that I struggle with. The deception. To walk away knowing the deception continues, impacting the kids, is something I cannot bring myself to do.

It is this that I pray for daily - the strength to work through that and do the right thing, whatever that might be.

Sadly (or so it seems) I do still love W with all my heart. It is a heart that is hurt, crushed, torn apart - but also one that I now have a wall around. Isn't it ironic that I am still feeling this? It makes no sense but it is what it is.

It is because of those feelings that I have in essence let her go. She is doing what she wants when she wants. She lives a life right now that is really devoid of responsibility.

Will I get to the point where I agree to leave? I do not think so. She wants out, she is living a single life and continues to carry on outside our marriage and family. Maybe I will get there someday - but I am not there yet.

I know it may seem like I am emotionless - but I am not. I have shed more tears in these last 10 months than I ever have in my life.

Hopefully the prayers will be answered... soon.

Thank you once again. You truly are a dear friend. Thank you for being there. Thank you for being you.

Hopefully I can in some way show you my gratitude some day. For now all I have is

Thank you.

[whatdidido]

Very nice letter. When push gets to shove you see who the real friends are, don't you? YOu also see who is pro marriage and who isn't.

[Tawnya]

{{{{Lost}}}} It's not crazy to feel that way, esp after being together so long..but I do say that too..that it FEELS like it should be crazy to feel that way with all of the tears we've shed and all of the emotional hell we've been thru..

I'm glad you have some good friends around you on your side for this fight for your marriage..sometimes they are very hard to come by in real life!

Tawnya

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Lost))) Love what you wrote. Have a nice dinner with your DD and continue to be the strong and constant man/father you have shown yourself to be.

[lost_in_space]

((((wdid)))), ((((Tawnya)))) and ((((S&S))))

Thank you all. Is it the right thing to do? I hear more and more about W talking about things after we D, etc... is it worth it?

Anyway, despite it all I am trying to take the high road. Am tied up at work, so I sent a message home to let W know I would be here for at least another hour. She actually replied - not expected. In fact I also sent the same message to S13 so someone in the house would acknowledge.

Ready for this. Remember our planned Hawaii trip that W still wants to go on? The W of the friends (FW) we were to go with received a text from W today. Went something like this:

W: not trying to avoid you, just so busy.
FW: maybe we will get together in January when you are less busy.
W: oh, do you know something I don't know?

FW obv talking about us not going to Hawaii over Christmas. FW told friend who called to warn me. WTF is W thinking??????????
Friend wants NOTHING to do with W right now... will ruin their holiday and I so agree!