Please send me good karma!!....I'm gonna need it!

[Silent Chrleader]

Weekend was OK. H spent the night on Friday and Saturday. Did a lot of errands and got prep done for painting inside of house and putting down new flooring. Had a lot of time to talk in car on errands. Tried to make mostly "light" conversation, but also ended up doing some "heavy" talk. C has advised that I give thoughts in small pieces and then move on to "light" again and let H mull it over. So, I try to do this, but I second guess myself all the time. H is reserved but says he is trying to open up, and I want to believe him. Seems to listen and doesn't get angry like he used to.

I could say more about conversations, but you would all probably 2x4 me (and I do enough of that to myself already). Probably wasn't good "DBing", but I have been honest and true to myself, and honest with H. I do have my honor and my integrity and those are very important to me. This weekend there were no meltdowns, but there were moments of vulnerability, and moments of strength, and moments of laughter, on both our parts. And there was one moment where I asked if I could give H a hug, and he said "sure", and he gave me a real tight hug and I stopped hugging first. And I told him that I sincerely wanted only happiness for us both, and he said he did too.

So, today, I am OK.