It's official.......what now?

[mishka422]

Gabe is taking my mom to the Dr. again today. He asked if he could use my car since his tires are bald and it's supposed to rain. What was I going to say? No? I don't think so! He has my mom and son in the car with him.

I was on the phone at work when he got here so I couldn't go out and switch keys with him. He had to come in to my office. Talk about him walking into hostile territory! They were all very nice to him. He ran into my boss outside and when she came in she had this funny look on her face. I asked her if she ran into Gabe outside. She said yes, and he looks like a down and out guy!!! He looks horrible! I just smiled at her. She said, "He chose this for himself. Good, he deserves it."

OH..........VALIDATION!!!!!!!!!! I'm not crazy, I'm not just seeing what I want to see. He really is a total mess and not just by my opinion. Boy, bad choices really come back to bite you in the a$$ don't they?

Now...are you really gonna let this dude ruin Xmas for you forever?? You really gonna let him win?? with this?? You're actaully gonna give Xmas over to Batchitt crazy?? We gonna have to rename Christmas, Batchitt crazy day??

I don't want to let him ruin my Christmas Mike. I really don't. I just don't know how to change it up so that it doesn't remind me of everything I've lost. The focus of the holiday's for me has never been gifts (giving or receiving) but the atmosphere, the reminder of the gift given to the world to save us, the family togetherness. The last one is the painful part. Family togetherness. I don't have my little family anymore and it hurts so bad. You all probably think I'm nuts. I've told you that I am from a HUGE family. I really mean it, HUGE! For Thanksgiving there are 46 of us for dinner. That is just family, not including the friends that all of us have invited who may not have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving. This is only one branch of the tree. We have close relatives all over the country who would all get together if we could. We are a tight group and no one has ever been able to figure that out. We like it that way.

My little piece of that HUGE family is the only part that is missing. Yes, we lost one member but I feel like I've lost everything. How dumb! I do battle in my head over this constantly because it just seems so ridiculous to feel that way. Geeeessss!

change the channel..listen to something else..let's stay away from country too..

It was only a commercial and it freaked me out! Awful! I wish I could stay away from country but that's all they listen to in my office. I have my media player on as loud as I can turn my speakers without disrupting the office to drown it out some. I used to love country music but there is too much meaning behind too many of the songs for me to listen to it much anymore. I listen to a Christian radio station and the music is very uplifting - the commercials are not!

I don't believe that either..and a plus for putting things up..you can put up what you want and not have some DAM huffing and puffing cause it's not up right to suit him..

He hated Christmas. He hated decorating. He couldn't stand helping with anything regarding Christmas. I did it all, I shopped for everyone. I did all the cooking, baking, etc. All alone. He wouldn't do any of it - EVER. Apparently though, he's all happy about helping the broom put up Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving. GGGRRRRR!!!! I guess he only hated Christmas because it involved me, not because he hated it in general. That is an ugly realization. What did I do that made Christmas so awful for him? Was I too traditional? Maybe that's it.

CG will help here...or a neighbor...someone can help you get these down..it won't take 5 minutes..give me a break..

I'm not going to ask CG to help me! No way! I couldn't do that. I don't know any of my neighbors, which is sad since I've lived there 8 years! None of us are ever home and outside. We have some waving aquaintances, that's it. I might try bribing my cousin's son's to come help me. If I tell them that I won't make their favorite macaroni salad again if they don't come do this then maybe it will get them off their lazy butts!

I'm still working on number 2..I will offer up this..as an alternative to doing something as far as gifts, have you ever thought of giving to someone less fortunate?? Like serving at a salvation army dinner/homeless shelter dinner?? They are always looking for volunteer servers....and it's true giving and costs nothing..

I have actually thought about that Mike. I think it would be a good experience for Marc and for me. I have done that before, when I was young, and it was so memorable. I love to give, much more than receiving. That would be a wonderful use of our time and energy to help those who have nothing. I'm going to look and see if there are any churches in our area serving meals to the homeless on Christmas. I do know there is the HUGE one at Turner Field on Christmas day called the Hosea Feed the Hungry dinner. There are thousands there that day. It might be a little too big for Marc to really be able to take any lessons from it. Working on it now.

Regarding Thanksgiving dinner, I have backed my way out of SO much of it this year. I broke down and told my family that there was no way I could cook like I usually do. I can't afford it and I don't have the time. They were just fine with it. YEAH! I did tell them that I would make a cheesecake (not even the pumpkin one I usually do. I'm making a plain cheesecake with a mixed berry compote topping), a squash casserole, and broccoli casserole. I am picking up fruit for a fruit tray for the warehouse.

Yes, you heard right - warehouse! My cousin is the president of a computer parts warehouse and we use it to play games before dinner. We set up a volleyball net, ping pong table, dart board, and several small card tables with various games on them. We do that from 12-5p and then we go back to the house for the meal and more card games.

I thought that if I spelled all that out to you guys I might get excited about it. Still not there but trying really hard!