Well, this pursuing paranoid weak person is someone I do NOT want to be married to, at all. And now I know that that will always be a possibility in him...that he will always be capable of returning back to this person that I do not know. That's the same thing I think about his anxiety....that without the meds, he will be a person I don't want to be around at all.
I'm now his other medicine.
So I have to continue to remain strong, baby him back to the person I know? That sounds so stressful to me. I am really really tired of being the strong one, here. I am yearning for being taken care OF. But in hindsight, that has never happened either. I am NOT being sarcastic/cynical about this...I'm really serious. I know it sounds like pity me, pity me...
Peace, hi! I feel what you're going through, as I deal with the anxiety issue as well. It does get hard...I realized that was what I liked about OM, he would always tell me everything was going to be alright, that I was strong enough to face my challenges whatever decision I made. H and his family always say everything is going to be awful. Professional handwringers. I just got so tired of having to be "the strong one" as well. I remember H giving me a card one time saying I was the rock of the family. Well that's sweet, and it was touching that he acknowledged that, but I needed HIM to put his arms around me and tell me it was going to be okay.
Guess what? He actually said that to me the other day...something about he wanted me to be able to put my head on his shoulder and feel safe. I was stunned. So don't give up hope about things improving. I know it's extra hard with the anxiety sitch, but this is a transition time you're both in...so try to be patient. The major thing I have to focus on (and I'm not so great at it!) is ONE day at a time.
