I agree with Puppy. Also, you asked about the intimacy. You will need to be very patient there. Build up your emotional intimacy and you will start to see her physical intimacy. What she had with OM was fantasy like with no responsibilities and she let her heart close out to you and fill with the OM. It will take a while to reverse that. It's there, she isn't faking her love to you, but she has to tear down that wall she built with you. Make sure you don't go back to the way it was before the affair. Make sure you keep the changes you made going. Give her time. And follow through on those boundaries. She cannot contact the OM or you will get no where.
