I whimped out, can everyone say (cluck, cluck, chicken) called W today to tell her I didn't feel comfortable being with her and I really didn't want to ride with her to the party.
Before I could get a word in, she was talking, very happy, already told people we were comming over together, so I didn't want to stir up anything, I will take her and the kids, have a good time and move on later.
Quote:
WDID: At this party is she going to pretend like all is fine, or does everyone know what's going on?
They all know what is going on, I don't think they know about OM, just that the W left me and the kids.
But yes, she will pretend all is fine, in her head we worked out our differences and are fine with each other. That's what she wants to get accross to everyone, I don't know where she comes up with this stuff.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.65
I don't know all I know is she told me her dad made a comment about him not getting in the middle and she responded its ok, we worked out our differences, we are fine with each other.
I don't know what we worked out
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.65
W over this morning to pick up kids, asked me if I heard anything from the L, which sent my mind racing all day
I came home from work (I have the flu) to get some rest I don't know if its my W asking about D paperwork or the flu that has my mind racing.
feeling kind of melancholy, one minute I'm thinking of W and thinking about what went wrong, and then I'm telling myself I'll be fine, have to move on; keep moving forward, touched my wedding ring (its in my breif case) wierd day, funny how a small conversation will set your thoughts in motion.
Thought of something I wrote to W way back when this all started its called my ring
My ring
This ring of gold weighs on my mind I was once told this ring meant something This ring represented hope and love Now I'm tired of this ring of gold. It weighs too heavily on my mind. What does this ring mean now It reminds me of my vows
This ring of gold looks so old. Each scratch and dent represents a battle, a trial some hardship or pain Each scratch or dent obtained through the years represents yet another tear.
This ring of gold once meant something It once meant something special What does it represent now Does it still hold out hope for love or does it just represent pain, sadness the madness of life and bygone days.
I still wear my ring, I cannot explain why Its still means something to me It still means hope and love to me I wear it to remind me of my best friend I don't know how long I will hold on for when it comes off it represents the end
Like I said its been a strange day, After W filed for D, I thought to myself, when things are final, I would mail her my wedding ring with the above note. Poundering what love actually means, woundering why things turned out the way they did
Going to go pick up the kids, at least I'll get some happiness from seeing their faces, their smiles light up my day. D9 has been a great help while I'm sick, helping out with everything.
Tomorrow I have another 1/2 day because kids are out of school. Was invited to happy hour, I don't know if I'll be up to it, maybe if I get some rest tonight, I have a hard time getting to sleep, its midnight before I get to bed and I get up at 5:30am
maybe tonight, I'll read, that usually does the trick
Hope everyone is doing fine, thank you all for everything
When you kick a dog so many times the dog learns to avoid you
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.65
I am sorry that you are sick. Never fun to be feeling out of sorts around the holidays or when you have the kids by yourself. My kids always try to help me and try not to argue with each other. I am not sick now so the boys have decided to start arguing! lol
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have so many things to be thankful for.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You have been holding strong for so long, focusing on your kids, and self improvement. I'm so sorry that your W is starting the D paper talk around the holidays. She doesn't see how she has and is affecting you and others. Selfish.
I hate that you are going to have to deal with sharing a long car ride with her. You know what she thinks....everything is fine with you two, worked through everything, etc.....I can just picture how great she'll feel as you all walk in as a family and leave as a family. She'll justify it all in her head. As an outsider, it makes me ill, so I can only imagine how you must feel.
Stay close to family. As my mother said to me yesterday, "Family is all that matters (when you get older), even more so than health." If you have brothers and sisters, talk to them. Call your parents.
WDID: I hate that you are going to have to deal with sharing a long car ride with her. You know what she thinks....everything is fine with you two, worked through everything, etc.....I can just picture how great she'll feel as you all walk in as a family and leave as a family. She'll justify it all in her head. As an outsider, it makes me ill, so I can only imagine how you must feel.
she thinks....everything is fine with you two, worked through everything, etc.....EXACTLY
I feel confused, I really cannot do anything (don't want to stir up anything especially around friends) so I'll be polite and friendly like nothing is wrong (I'll play her game).
At some point things will have to change. After D is final, I'll be moving on.
When you kick a dog so many times the dog learns to avoid you
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.65
I'm thinking of you all wishing you all a happy thanksgiving
W called yesterday, to double check arrangements, was hesitant about are we driving together ??? after we talked about it three or four times> She was giving me a way out, I could have said right then and there no I would prefer we didn't but there was something about her hesitation that made me say yes we are going togethers. - life is wierd and so am I
You guys are something I am thankful for and I will remember that today.
When you kick a dog so many times the dog learns to avoid you
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.65
