JWM, several DB'ers have said to me that their spouse's A is like a drug fix. They need the drug and feel miserable without it. I have seen this myself with my H. One minute he is mad from talking with me. Half an hour later (probably a phone call with OW), he is happy and smiling. WTF??
Just don't take it personally. It's not really about you. My H and your W is deep in the A. They confuse pleasure with happiness, as my C would say. Let this ride out.
They do not want to come back because it means giving up the drug, the pleasure, the highs. They still haven't realized that the highs don't last, it doesn't matter if their A partner is Jennifer Lopez or Brad Pitt. When they figure it out, then they can come down to earth and REALLY think about whether it is worth it to reconcile. Until that time, don't even bother. Just GAL, take care of yourself and don't worry too much. I know it's hard to watch. Just think of them as people with problems and feel sorry for them. Try not to take it too personally.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
