God grant me the patience and the strength...9

[theotherhalf]

I hope your right. But I also pray that my H will make changes for him. I see my old H there but without making changes for himself things will definately go back to the way things were before MLC and we may end right back to S again. I can make all the changes in the world but I can't make him do things differently.

Like I can suggest to do different things but if he won't agree to do them then here we sit. I can love him differently but if he pulls away then it's still the same.

I see H making baby steps in doing things differently. But there is so much more...I guess we'll see.

Had a pretty good weekend. To me it seems we are connecting so much more. But still no talk about what he is thinking or planning on doing. Many times over the weekend H would make a comment or something and instead of saying something I would just stare at him and he would stare back. I feel it but don't know if he does.

At the end of the day yesterday H asked me if I wanted to go for a ride with him. We drove around the gravel roads just looking for deer and talking about crops and stuff. I enjoyed it, hope he did too. BIL left his pickup for H to drive yesterday. So he now has wheels of his own. But yet he stayed last night. Went to work this morning (he's on days this week). Don't know if he'll be here tonight or not. I seen yesterday too that H brought home the blade for the four wheeler. He used it last year at his place to push snow. Don't know why he'd bring it here. I didn't ask.

Slow and steady. Quiet and patient....