Creeping through no man's land

[ACJ]

Sorry to disappoint you girls but I left the party early as I wasn't enjoying myself. In retrospect I shouldn't have gone as it was me who was the problem not the other people there.

The party was being hosted by another social networking group that I have been encouraged to join. It was people I already know from the group I've been in long term that did this. This new group does things more locally and generally has a younger age group attend. That was the problem. At this particular event most of the people in the room were nearer in age to D18 than me. After 3 hours I was sick of 'Hello, what's your name, where do you live etc etc etc. Although I'm used to this type of convo from the other group with this lot it didn't go any further than that and it was very stilted convo at that. I was way out of my comfort zone so I left. It was supposed to be a party but there was no room to dance. It was just 90 odd people crammed into a very small room that had been hired in a bar. The music was so loud you couldn't hear what other people were saying etc. Think I've finally returned to being a 40 something in my head instead of 30 something. Maybe it was me having MLC all along
So the red dress will have to come into it's own some other time! I bought it b/c I know I suit red really well and I had hoped it would be a confidence booster for me. Oh well you live and learn.

Today I have been on my personal nightmare of a rollercoaster for three years. I didn't expect to feel as down as I do. I thought this year would be easier. Thankfully I'd planned to work from home today. I didn't want to be in a position where I was breaking down in tears in front of my colleagues. Ironically the tears came yesterday and I'm just suffering from the melancholy today.

Only good news is that so far I've not received any more papers from Hs L. There is, however, still time.