Thanks for that. Interestingly the trial living thing hasn't come up in weeks, so I think we have moved on to something better. I am still being extra-cautious though, and probably will be at least through the end of the year, unless H says/does something unquestionably and amazingly positive, e.g. puts his ring on, says he feels like he is in love with me etc. So at this moment in our bedroom it still appears as though he is the only one living here, in some ways. When I was gone, he took over all of the shelves, and his clothes are everywhere. He has more clothes than I do...I have one small spot on one of the shelves, and the rest of my stuff is in closets. Obviously this ultimately isn't a fair situation, but as things are still so tentative, I don't want to bring anything up and ask for additional space. I want to wait until it's clear that we're on solid ground.
Yeah in terms of the shared purchases, I know he knows what they mean. As I'd said on Thursday he made a semi-negative comment about it not being the right time to make a major purchase due to "our situation." This hasn't come up again, and last night we did make a small purchase together. It wasn't insignificant though at nearly 200 Euros. I mention that because I am quite positive that if he didn't think we'd be living together, he wouldn't have wanted us to drop a couple of hundred Euros on something that involves getting files from his computer on a regular basis.
You're also right about the R conversation and him needing to be the one to bring it up. I think you are totally right that the more positives we can build on, the more likely it is that they will want to stay, and for this reason I think the longer we delay the R talk the better, assuming we continue to build only positives...
So I don't have any other news or anything much to journal on at this point. One thing that I have noticed is that when I make dinner, and bring H his dinner downstairs while he is playing video games (in the past I used to pressure him to eat with me), he now comes upstairs to sit with me and eat instead. I am still a little bit surprised when he seeks out my company...Last night we were watching a movie upstairs, and I said I was going to bed. So he said he was too and followed me down. It's just these very little things that get to me in a good way. No ML and there hasn't been in awhile, but he did rub my nose and my ears last night, and in a semi-bold move I kissed his hand while he was doing so. For the first time in awhile, this didn't seem to bother him. Yesterday I also sort of put my hand on his back a couple of times when he was talking, and this went over OK. My next goal is that we start being more physically affectionate. He is a very affectionate person by nature, which is why I am finding the lack of physical affection so strange. While I have to let him take the lead on this, I can make it easier by always sitting very close to him on the couch, leaning in toward him etc. I think I can also keep up the putting my hand on his back and other small things like this.
OK I am headed off to work now. H has classes tonight, so I'm looking forward to sitting in front of the TV with a glass of wine and watching some bad TV :).
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
