A quick history......found out about H's A mid-September. He moved out of our home and in with OW at the end of Sept. He has now been back home for two weeks. I asked him today if he still felt unable to talk with me (he said I talked "down" to him) and he said "I don't know." We kept a discussion going for a few minutes and one thing he said is that he's not in the same place as he was when we got married. Well, duh, you're not supposed to be. Marriage is a journey; you fall in and out of love and then back in again. I told him that there were several things that I need to say and do but I'm afraid of pushing him away again. Plus, he's trying to take care of his elderly mother who appears to be declining daily (mentally). He's certain that he'll have to move in with her sooner rather than later. That scares me to death because it'll make it that much easier for him to rekindle the A and I wouldn't have any idea. I see my IC tomorrow, but I really needed to put this out there. I keep telling myself that this is just the embryo stage of this whole thing and that I need to be patient and diligent, but I gotta say, I'm not doing any of that very well.
He refuses to go to counseling. I haven't set boundaries yet, but am doing so tonight. I don't believe I've done a 180 because I'm not real sure what to do to accomplish that.
