Most people are much happier in their second marriages because they've learned from their mistakes." False
How many people do you know that believe this to be true? (Not counting anybody in the entertainment industry?! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif" alt="" /> ) Well I don't know many divorced people to start with but hubby's male friends seem to be either younger & never married or his age & older & the ones his age & older seem to be drunkards who have had either 1 bad marriage / divorce or more - 1 guy I do know is in his 50's & is a 3 time loser!
How many of you know people that are in your second, third, or even fourth marriage, who keep making the same "mistakes"? That maybe all they have learned is to get a better pre-nuptual agreement up front?! See above - weird 3 time loser of course doesn't say anything is his fault - they were all "B!*%$s out to get him for his money
What are your thoughts about when Michele says "Unless you understand that "marriage" doesn't make people happy, you will spend the rest of your life trading in marital partners for new ones."? True - you need to be a happy person it's not everyone else's job to make you happy
When she talks about being satisfied with your own life, and being on a path that is satisfying to you as an individual? I really like how she said in the book that if you are not happy in your job maybe you should change jobs rather than planning to change partners
What are your thoughts as this relates to both you, and your partner?
My parents were 'til death do us part' as well as those were around me growing up on the family farm - 2 uncles & my father's parents - so daily i saw examples of couples who lived & loved working it out thru what ever life threw at them - including my great grandmother & great aunt being cared for in home until they died by family members - my uncle lost both his mother & wife the same day one died in hospital & the other died at the home of my other uncle - the examples which I grew up with were couples who althou some appeared to be mismatched had very fulfilling lives & loved each other regardless of what came up, they worked thru their problems because althou divorce was an option to the rest of the world it didn't seem to be part of their vocabulary - the 2 divorces which i knew about in my family were brought forth by the spouses which were married into the family & occurred in the younger generations who didn't live near the farm any longer & seemed to have lost the family connection...
as for hubby's life experience - there doesn't seem to be much connection to family - he's not close to his family, his own mother was a divorced single parent who left him as a young child down south while she came north for a few years before sending for him, she was single for a few years up north raising him & his brother & then remarried a man who had 3 sons the 2 families never did seem to blend & even as adults there is still a us against them attitude with the step brothers - my view as an outsider looking in - even my children joke that they were the ones who taught my FIL in our early years of marriage to be able to hug children anywhere & anytime
- the 1st time that they gave my FIL a hug downtown hartford at 1st nite celebration when it was time to go his expression was definately one of shock & confusion as we were in a public place saying goodbye & he didn't expect the kids to just spontainiously jump into his lap & hug him in the middle of SubWay fastfood restaurant
I think that people are very mistaken on the "& they lived happily ever after" fairytale & look for marriage to be what makes them happy rather than looking at life as being an interesting passage & enjoying what life brings & the joy comes in the sharing life with your family both the good & the bad - for if you don't have any rain then the flowers will never bloom & if you don't have bad times then you will never grow & you will never be able to fully appreciate the good times as really being the good times does that make sense to anyone besides myself?
does that make sense to anyone besides myself? 