LE, I'm not going to throw a 2x4 simply because i've never gotten this far myself. but it appears to me that she might be coming around. I would have to say this is definitely a time where you have to look for actions like the W having her L put this on hold. then it appears that would be the time to think that she's serious and not just being ambivalent. make sense?
I think you did fine too. I probably would have gone overboard trying to make sure that she knew exactly where I'd be and what time I'd be home...but, making her wonder is much better.
Did you offer any help since she's sick? I wondered if she was going to ask you for something with the "Do you work on Wednesday?" question. I don't know if you should offer help...I guess I was just wondering if you did.
I think she's really searching, LE! Keep up the self examination...it will only make you a better person in the end regardless of what happens.
I'm so rooting for you and praying for you everyday!!
Love you! Amy
p.s. I'll clean the kitchen after we eat...how's that?
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
wow LE I am not gonna beat you up either! I am concerned just when you were getting ok going in one direction, she has thrown a diff twist in it, just a little bit. and I really think she was trying to feel you out!! I love the way you didnt cut her off, but didnt explain your evening plans!! HUGS!!
I thought of you in church this morning during the sermon, and I know you have a church, but if you are ever around VC around 9 or 11 on sunday, our church is behind the pizza hut to the east.
hugs my friend
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Right-o on the church offer Bg. My church recently changed to Saturday night instead of Sunday evening and that works so much better for me. I love my Sunday morning lounging around time.
Amy--Thanks for the Hug. Don't really know what to think, she has done this before. I think she still loves me, just misses the me that has been gone for so long. The self examination has pushed me towards being that person again. Maybe W sees it and the guilt over what she is doing is catching up to her. She told me a couple of weeks ago that when she is with me her heart doesn't hurt. No way to really know though, tomorrow is another day and the KS wind will change direction and so will her thoughts. My SIL and my brother both think I owuld be crazy to take her back, but they aren't there when our kids cry. I know that bothers W.
Tom--Thanks for the support. W said the L is wanting to wrap this up. I offered to let my attorney file for continuance, but she said she would take care of it. Her L goes to her church, if he is pushing for the D then he is the jerk I think he is. Also, do I take her back only if we can get the hell out of her hometown? I don't feel like I can put conditions on it, but I want to move to Tulsa and take that job and just start over. Get away from all of the bad influences there.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
see we are the opposite now i used to love my sunday lounge sleep in time, late breakfast then football, now i cant wait to get up and go, oh and did i mention I am actually a normal morning person on sundays lol?
wow her L goes to her church and is pushing for the D to go swiftly? two things come to mind here, he is a hyporcite and goes to church for show, or maybe you wife has told him different about the divorce than you are aware of........
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Also, do I take her back only if we can get the hell out of her hometown? I don't feel like I can put conditions on it, but I want to move to Tulsa and take that job and just start over. Get away from all of the bad influences there.
Something to think about if the sitch gets to the point that both of you are considering putting it back together. I definitely wouldn't mention it right now and I know that you know that; but it is something that should be considered given the history that you have in her hometown. A part of me wishes I had never moved to my W's hometown; but it's been a great career move for me and if she left me in our last town I probably would be without the kids. So it's a double-edged sword for me. I realize that this would have happened anyway; so it's better that we're already here because this is where she would have run to.
I can't, for the life of me, figure out why her L would keep pushing except for the monetary gain. My L said that he never pushes a client to do anything that they don't want to do; just gives advice and present the case in the best interests of the client. He also concentrates on father's rights; that's why I have him.
he never pushes a client to do anything that they don't want to do
Yeah she maybe isn't telling me everything. I just know how he works and he is aggressive. She is paying him a bit at a time. I gave my atty the $ up front. For no more than my L has done, I should have some credit leftover. My guy is a go it slow sort of fellow so he and I are on the same page.
I told W last week when she mentioned possible R that I wouldn't until we had gone to MC and maybe IC for her. Her argument has "I don't want to hurt you anymore!" I countered "So you choose to hurt our kids instead?" I hurt every other weekend when I have to take them home! How is that not hurting me. I need breakaway and cookie to explain to my W that things can be overcome. Wait, you can't rationalize with her, she will have to figure it out herself. I don't want to go back and have to compete against the memory of what might've been for her and OM if that is the case. Better she gets over him and then work son the M? IDK. It isn't about our history, it is about our future. We learned from the mistakes of the past to make our future better.
Last edited by Little Engine; 11/24/0804:50 AM.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
ok this is wonderful what you said!! It isn't about our history, it is about our future. We learned from the mistakes of the past to make our future better. next time you talk about mc with her, and she says she doesnt want to hurt you, could you say that to her? change the learned to learn maybe....just a thought if you really are still considering R. LE that is so amazing that statement, it gave me goosebumps!!!
Last edited by Babygirl; 11/24/0804:57 AM.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
