Is she is or is she ain't (my baby)?

[Andabelle]

Sleeper, you are doing so well, although it must be awfully hard not get impatient. I see so much progress in your sitch, but your W is defo a slow cooker.

I am dreading Thanksgiving, too. Still don't know if I'll be seeing H that day or not.

Hang in there.

[forward]

Sleeper, I think the only way to cope is truly to focus on what you enjoy, so you do not feel as if life is passing you by.

I am planning on some major changes in my life. I want a new line of work. I want to live somewhere smaller.

As far as the holidays, I am afraid that I might be alone, but I was thinking that, as peace pointed out, it is only one day. As far as the season leading up to things, I will enjoy as much time as I can with D and then maybe get myself a present!!

If I am alone at Christmas, I will see about doing some volunteering. Certainly better than sitting around feeling too sorry for myself.

[sleeper]

You want to hear something funny?(ho ho ho)

Last year I got OM a Christmas present. It was one of those stockings with chocolates wrapped in black foil to look like lumps of coal. Blew X away that I had gotten him something "in the spirit of the season", her words, and caught him off guard. I got a kick out of it too. I wonder if he ate the chocolate or was too afraid to.

I also surprised X by putting Christmas lights up on her (still legally our) business last year. I did that Thanksgiving Day when I didn't have my kids. It kept me busy and from feeling lonely or sorry for myself.

I can't say I didn't feel a little stupid when I did these things but they made me feel good.

[fisherman]

Sleeper you ROCK !!!

I can't stop laughing.....

This just made my day. Thank you!!

[sleeper]

You're welcome.

I always say when life hands you lemons poke a hole in one of them and squirt it in some @sshole's eyes. It'll make you feel better and won't waste the lemon.

Not really. As you can see I tend to do the opposite however I do enjoy a rich fantasy life.

[sleeper]

Saw the X this AM when I picked up kids.

Our interactions are now much much better, more like real friends. I enjoy her company and I think maybe she enjoys mine too. Our visit lasted about an hour and a half this AM. I flirted a little telling her I always thought she was gorgeous and she gets more georgous as the years have gone by. I tempered it by adding I didn't care for her new (mlc) hairstyle.

I did mention i might buy a house in the next town. Her only reaction was immediate concern that that was where the kids would go to school (nothing about me moving further away). She mentioned there is a house a block from hers (about the eigth time she has brought up something like that since we separated). I think the reason is that she doesn't want the kids far from her.

One difference was that she came to the door as we were leaving even after the kids had gone to her room to tell her goodbye (I didn't). The door was already closed and locked so she stood there waving and saying goodbye.

[sleeper]

I've decided not to contact X or do anything for her this week. Last year when I did the above we were still legally married, now we're not. It may also be of benefit to her to experience a holiday isolated from me and the kids. The first holidays following our separtation she had the kids. If she calls I'll answer but I won't initiate contact.

This should be interesting.

[Imageer]

If she calls I'll answer but I won't initiate contact.

I've followed this policy almost from day one. There has only been a handful of incidents where I have contacted he in 22 months. However, I don't know if my W has even noticed because she contacts me almost daily.

Mostly, if I need to talk to her, I wait until she calls me and then I add in an "Oh, by the way ....." I had to do that a few times in the beginning but not so much lately.

[sleeper]

So she called this afternoon.

I was out of town with the kids (it's my week) when she called. She was a little concerned when I told her on the phone we were out of town, not in the legal way, but in a loss of contact with what's going on type of way. I quickly reminded her I had told her we were going out of town on one of two days this week and where we were going. She responded that she would have liked a call to let her know when we left. Are we supposed to continue holding hands after we're divorced?

When we began the trip home I called and told her we were leaving for home. She seemed very grateful for the call.

"Just another day in paradise" Don Henley

[sleeper]

Got a shock to my system today.

X calls to tell me she's going on a trip for a couple of days. She is going with OM as he travels to celebrate Thanksgiving with his parents, will be back the day after Thanksgiving.

I commented she should be sure to make a good impresion on his parents. Her response was a brief chuckle.

She then begins asking me what the weather will be like, what to pack, etc. I asked, "What part of the state are you going to?" SHE THEN TURNS TO OM WHOM I DIDN'T REALIZE WAS WITH HER AND ASKS WHAT PART OF THE STATE HIS PARENTS LIVE IN. I responded by laughing and advising her OM should know what the weather will be like, ask him.

I'm a little freaked she's going to meet his parents.

Why did she chuckle when I told her to make a good impression on his parents?

Why the h*ll is she asking me about the weather there while he was in the room and could answer that much better than I?

I'm thinking about asking her where the ring is when she returns (if she isn't wearing one). I'm thinking about running away.