Trixi aka "The Pitbull who can't let go"

[NikB]

PS - not to hijack but wanted to share the story of the recent "issue" with my H because I think it might help. The reason I know how poorly the "MY H!" will come across is I DID say something along those lines to my H. He had some testing to recertify some of his licenses that didn't even start til 7 PM, and had 5 tests. I felt bad for him knowing he'd probably be tired and home really late. So I stayed up, planned to give him a back rub when he got home.

Well, around 11 I finally called H thinking the testing place had to have closed by then. Come to find out that the tests went by quicker than he thought and he was over at his friend's house playing video games since 9. (same friend that he spends just about every freaking waking moment with when he's not at work or home with me... and since work's been so slow, he's literally at this guy's house probably 4-5 hours EVERY DAY.. guess I should be glad it's a GUY friend at least).

Anyway... I was PISSED not to mention hurt and very angrily said to H "Well, that sure sounds like more fun than coming home to your WIFE who stayed up LATE to greet you. You're MY H and I think you're with [friend's name] more than you are with me!" I didn't exactly hang up on him after that but just about.

Not one of my finer moments. When H got home I apologized and said I didn't mean to sound like the "naggy wife" but I was hurt - and he (thankfully actually talking to me) told me that IS how it felt and that he felt totally smothered and like I was being posessive. His gut reaction to me saying that was for him want to do stuff like that MORE often just to prove he can do what he wants, basically. Calm discussion... and I'm glad we talked it out.. but I wanted to share it because I'm sure your H would have a very similar reaction. He'll do things like NOT call you, NOT ask you to pick him up from the airport, etc. to prove the point (to himself and possibly to you) that he can do whatever the he!! he wants. Defiant teenager attitude? Yes, absolutely... but I bet your H would react a LOT like mine.