Help, I do not know if I handled this all wrong or what. I was married 17 years. He was working part time in Mexico and I came home to be with our 16 year old s. Found an email from ow stating that she could not wait for him to return and she loved him with all her heart. He was glad it was out. Said it started 4 months previous. He had feelings for her. Said that he may regret it but was going for it. He was bored and it was too late to rekindle the fire in our marriage. He is 49, she is 38 single and mexican. I am 55. He said he wanted to apologize then said it would never be the same then said that my family had alienated him and he did not know how to rebuild trust. Later he took her to the states and bought new Bedroom furniture for our home in Mexico. This is when he started to say that there was no hope of reconcilliation later he wanted a divorce. I was to accept it that he was never coming back to me. So I served him Dec 07. Up until the mediation in August I would ask him to rethink what we were doing and if it could be too haste. He said that he wanted no conditions on his life and could not give me committment. Then he said that he did not appreciate what he had. Told a friend that I deserved someone better than him. The further the D went the furter he went with her. To take her last January to Hawaii where we were married. Said he was making new memories. I ask him if he is happy and he says yes and then sometimes how do you know I am happy. Now we are divorced. Happened last month. HE said that he loved her and that he did not love me. That he had been proud of our marriage but the clock was ticking he knew it was selfish but time for him now. He wanted adventure, challanges, excitement and no longer found them here as a married family man. He carries inside him from childhood a father that did this to him at the same age our son is. HE lives with ow in his warehouse with his jaguars, mercedes and tools. I struggle with the what ifs and why could he not see that we loved him and needed him here but to him it was a responsibility and he had had enough of that since 17. So he grew his hair long as he says failed me and changed. Wants me to be happy and even his friend. He has said some horrible things like I do not think of it as a loss but a gain. He rejected my love. I found what I was missing in my life. All this took place in Mexico with mexican women and then he fell in love. Has broght her here to Canada and met his family. He denies wanting to marry and then makes remarks like I would not let him just up and go to Scotland to golf if he wanted to and she would. So she is what I need and not you. You don't want me. So my reason for emailing is : Is it rediculous to think that perhaps in a few years should he come from under the cloud and through the tunnel he may want to return or is it over for ever and I am just wasting my prayers.
