For the Guy with Kids and a WW Vinte (20)

[hopeful4her]

Ldub, how you been momma?

Yeah, nothing for you to lose at this point. Who knows WHAT could happen.

We've seemed to have little exchanges like that since our sitch started. Shows how well we really get along. One time it was a comment on "bashing" her head in with a stick. I had accidentally bonked her head lightly with a stick.

Okay, ya'll had to be there. WE both laughed, though.

[LL44]

Okay, ya'll had to be there

Totally understand about the little jokes/stories.

[whatdidido]

Ok, so she read that email with the video and is still calling/emailing you and being "warm". She is coming to YOU, too. Hmmmmm...sounds good to me. I can understand how the deer thing got to you. Understandable. But, something got to her, too. You are fighting. Don't stop. She also made the comment that she doesn't like being all alone at home....hmmmm...missing the kids, you, family, etc.? Yep.

Is she having her life with OM when not with the kids? Maybe. But, she is still getting you and the kids pretty easily along with it. What happens when you pull back and the OM doesn't do those nice things you do for her, when she has to pick up the kids herself and see them in their warm, cozy,happy home with you... And, SHE has to take them away to her apt? That won't feel so good for her.

I don't like that she made the comment about how you still will do family things (Thanksgiving) even though separated. I remember my one friend saying that same thing, seeing no reason that she couldn't have that. Cake eating big time. Her choice has consequences.

Have you continued to go to church with the kids? I hope so. These things that you "have to do" and these get togethers you are planning...they aren't with abc or d are they?

Everyone understands the loneliness. The thought of her not feeling it (you think) makes you angry. Go to God. Keep away from the parasites...messenger is one of them.

[hopeful4her]

Took the girls to donate some canned goods. K is volunteering for the Food Bank at a local Krispy Kreme. Got 3 coupons for a free doughnut and 2 coupons for a dozen free doughnuts. Used the two free ones for the girls already.

Went to the Dollar Store for a few things for Thursday then on to the grocery store. The wife called AGAIN. Asked where we were. I told her we were at the grocery store. She told me that she had gotten the turkey already, so not to worry about that. Went over a couple more things for the menu. She said that she was on her way out to the little store to get some more "masa" for the tamales before they closed. She had just finished cooking the meats.

I was talking to the girls and I was saying that they couldn't get some kind of $3 pomengranite I think, and the wife tells me how she got some grapes and oranges and stuff. I told her how I give them grapes and apples for their lunches that they want me to make for them. Then, she starts to tell me that she just ate a frozen pizza. Wolfed it down.

"A whole one?" I asked.
"Yup. I still feel it in my throat."

She then asked to talk to the girls. We finished shopping and just got home.

Her comment that you mentioned, Beej, was made a long time before she even moved out. Before she even got sick last year, I think.

Went to church today. The thing on Friday will be at N's house with her kids, P and her H and kids, the other P, who just had the barbeque last weekend and her kids, and B and her D13. I don't think K is going because kids drive her nuts. Her youngest is 16. A gathering they have been doing for a few years now. We used to all get together, including the wife and I, for stuff like that all the time. We used to have a big New Years party here at my place most years. Big booming fireworks and all. Gonna do it again this year.

And I'll have the girls with me.

And in a bit, I plan on having a killer bbq. Beef ribs, the girls and wife's fave, homemade potato salad, some corn and tea. It might be ready just before she comes to pick up the girls.

Not that I would plan it that way.

[whatdidido]

You and B don't do flirting, etc. do you? The kids will know, and they will say something to your W. Kids pick up on EVERYTHING. Your wife is moving toward you it seems....maybe the email?

[hopeful4her]

No flirting. We are a group of friends. We play around, but if kids are around, friends. Nothing flirty.

I would imagine. I know I won't be.

Wife moving towards me? Who knows.

Day by day. Can't do a full pull back right now with the Holidays here now. I'll have to play it by ear.

I WILL take things slowly, since I can't really go to dark. Let her come to me, if that is what she is doing.

If not, then nothing lost.

[whatdidido]

K.

[hopeful4her]

Bbq turned out great. Beef ribs and homemade potato salad. The girls LOVED it.

The wife showed up after we had already eaten. She hung out for a bit, and was playing with our dog on the floor of our dining room. I asked her if she was hungry.

"Nah....kinda. Whadja make?"

I tell her what I made and she says sure. She asks the girls to show her their rooms. I heat a plate for her and serve her some tea. D7 and I sit with her at the dinner table and talk a little.

I tell the wife that we didn't get a chance to make Rice Krispy squares and ask if we still had time. She said yes, so I got D11 to help me with it. The wife lets me know dinner was very good and then goes outside to visit the puppies.

Getting ready to leave and packing the girls stuff, she tells me her schedule for the week. We talk about daycare for D7 for Monday. Not sure if we should have her attend all day for Monday.

Just before she leaves, she tells me,

"We'll come spend the night on Wednesday."

I tell her thats fine and I say my goodbyes to the girls. It was really hard. Lots of hugs, lots of kisses. Them yelling from the car, "love you, daddy!"

The same that they do when I pick them up from the apartment for my week. They know they'll miss their mom. When I go leave them off at the apartment, I don't get that type of goodbye. I'm gonna keep having her pick up on her week.

And they'll all be coming to spend the night on Wednesday. I got some planning to do, I think.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I tell her what I made and she says sure. She asks the girls to show her their rooms. I heat a plate for her and serve her some tea.

GOOD.

D7 and I sit with her at the dinner table and talk a little.

NOT SO GOOD, in my opinion. Let D7 sit with her, not you. Women -- esp. if they are AT ALL a "quality time" LL -- give you big-time points for "sitting with them." In my mind, this was too much to give her considering where she's at right now.

You're still not letting her miss H4H! I think you could have made a strong play had you fixed her something to eat (a basic, decent gesture, plus a helluva good cook!), and then excused yourself politely to go "finish" something.

Just my 2 cents.

Puppy

[Sugar and Spice]

Hey H4H been kinda scarce this weekend. Sounds to me like she is moving towards you a bit but you should still be on the pull back.

Not much else to add but a ((((hug))))