Oh the ups and downs of this thing. What you are feeling is normal and will happen. It happens to me all the time. The best advice I have gotten from people here is as follows: when you are feeling down about your situation or are having urges to talk R with the spouse, or tell spouse ILY, it's time to focus on yourself and do something for yourself.
Also, the down feelings will pass just as some of the more hopeful ones haved passed. And both will come back.
I found that marking certain sections of the DR book, the sections that make me feel hopeful about my ability to save my R all by myself, and rereading them when I am feeling down have brought me comfort.
And, of course, posting here and talking with people on this board.
