The results are in...Dust myself off & start again

[Treese]

THanks everyone....

The picture is definately going to be changed..I will take pictures of me and the kids as well...wow wouldn't H be shocked coming into MY house with a picture on the wall of ME and the kids...he wouldn't say anything but it would hit him...

I guess I still don't understand how someone who was so involved in his childrens lives suddenly changes and can go days without even talking to them...makes me want to spit....but just think of all he is missing...I will hold all those memories in my head while he has nothing....kind of sad....

As for my son...he is definately afraid I'm not returning...I've tried to tell him I'll never leave him but he's used to me being here with him all the time...I have to get out...I'll go crazy in here all the time now...it's like I get all worked up and I need out of my cage...to vent...or whatever...

My H probably saw me yesterday with my friend and said, "it's about time she moves on"...I can't stay home and cry anymore...its time for me to be happy again...and I'm on my way..


And the other night another (male) friend looked at me and said, "you looked beautiful tonight"...made me smile

Maybe I can attact others....who knows....I am waiting to be served...I just feel like he's going to do it...he met with his so called attorney last week, so I'm sure he talked about the D...that's probably why we didn't hear from him....I hope he's losing sleep over this like I have been...I know I can't change it so I'm trying to deal with it....but sometimes those thoughts of his first OW creep into my head and I start to cry...what did I do to make this happen....

Son and I put up some Christmas decorations...he get so excited to do that..Christmas morning will definately be different but hopefully my children and I will have some good memories that we will cherish....I'm sure a few tears will be shed but hugs will take care of that....I plan on telling my children they are the loves of my life and from now on our family will be strong....for each other....we have to.. we're all we have....I am going to have a friend of mine take pictures of me with the kids and give them each one for Christmas with a special poem for just them...
Its funny how our children bring us together...we bring them into this world and they end up taking care of us in more ways than we think....

Take care everyone....MAH!!!