Had H with me last night - picked him up from school - W had phoned me about lunchtime to say that in all likelihood he would be whacked cos he didn't get to sleep till about 10.30 - so my planned trip over the pennines to our newly discovered climbing wall would be a bad idea!
Well - in the spirit of co-operation and goodwill - h and i came back to mine for lots of R and R - although I was a bit disappointed - no point making H more tired than need be on a school night...we had a great night together - he fell on my head at about 1 in the morning! I only have one bedroom sorted at the moment so when he stays with me i sleep on the floor on a mattress and he gets my bed...a single i have taken from home.
Today - after dropping H off at school, went "home" - put a load of washing in, sorted out outstanding stuff for the school ptA christmas programme - just need to print it off now! paid salaries to the people who work at the local playgroup (am treasurer), phoned the bank to sort out a handover to a new treasurer - and then back to my "new" house and carried on with tiling my bathroom...
now on my own till i get H tomorrow bout 6 - but in the meantime need to get into work to print of the Christmas Programmes - see before! (160 of them) and then H will land for the evening - we'll go bouldering at a place over in Sheffield on Sunday - that will be fun! And I have taken the initiative of inviting a friend of his to come along...
So in true gfI style - I'm BO...
Best all - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
s6 overnight with me last night and we're heading off climbing shortly - day off from the DIY for me! And the christmas fair programmes are done Yeh!!!
on last point I phoned W at work on Friday to ask if she had a long arm stapler - to staple the programmes together. She said she they did have one at work and she'd see what she could do. Anyhow yesterday when i went to pick up h - she had it for me - but added I had to return it to her today cos she had to take it back into work on Monday. This is very very kind of her - cos this is a day when she's not in work - so that will take a special journey.
W coming to collect h around teatime and staying for tea. Hope she still likes beans on toast!
KHO - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
Still following along....I lived through the lack of sex thing and like you was frustrated at times....actually let me rephrase that, I was much more frustrated than you seem to be. I really hope things get back to normal for you guys soon. Patience my friend.
Hey GFI... I agree, its good to notice these positive interactions, which seem to be increasing, dont you think?
Do you think the shine might be wearing off OM yet !?
I think its brilliant that she is going to stay for tea! Can you rush to the supermarket and rustle up something less 'blokey' than beans on toast !?? Whats her favourite food? Would it be a 180 for you to make an effort with food, surprise her with something home cooked (even if its simple, like pasta with pesto and cheese, I dont know, just not out of a can !)
C'mon...this is your chance to be the greener grass, even if you just get to a Spar to pick something up..any ideas?
Al
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Here's the run down - H and I went climbing and had a great time again and then called at the supermarket on the way back to get stuff for tea - thanks Ali - i appreciate the suggestion - actually i loathe beans on toast! So that was never going to be on - but there's more of a back-story to that throw away comment about beans on toast - 1. i still only have a microwave so anything particularly sophisticated is a bit of a stretch and 2. OM is a bit of a foodie - and judging by the stuff appearing in W's fridge and cupboards recently I get the impression he is a bit "anal" about his cooking - i am not and weirdly W previously didn't really have any time for such people - here's the woman who would rather live on cereal than be bothered about cooking for the sake of it - although we both appreciate simple but good food and W does like the feeling of sharing good simple food shared/prepared with friends - so the challenge was to come up with something that showed I had gone to some effort, a single meal ok for the 3 of us and which didn't take an age to prepare. So - seafood spaghetti with tomato and mushroom sauce with parmesan and salad was what i went for...and with a bit of juggling it all came together and was complimented...and because it was done via a microwave i didn't put my usual blokey trick of using every pan and utensil in the kitchen!
We also sorted out a load of business stuff concerning christmas - whos going where and when etc and presents we're going to sort for H and diary dates for the next 3 ish months - W brought her diary along and wanted to get a load of weekend and holiday dates pencilled in - times when i would have h at mine so she can go away etc...I have no problems with any of these and happily put them all in my diary - no point getting upset if those include some times she will spend with OM right? the way i am looking at those dates is that they are times I will have with H...
no r talk and no cross words - nothing but goodwill, cooperation and kindness - and yes Lan - my PMA was on show...and i agree on the observation about the more positive feeling my posts have these days - me moving out has taken that sting out of W's tail - its what she wanted me to do and me procrastinating did me no favours - it caused more resentment in W - although of course I am not at all happy about OM and the opportunities created for her by me moving it has allowed me to become more level in myself and to be able to interact much more positively with my W.
i think at the very least we are realising that we can work together to make the best of the sitch as it stands in H's interests...
...not at all sure if the shine with OM is wearing off or still there - not really considering him...simply had a nice time.
Am wondering whether to follow up with a text or phone call to say thanks for coming round - I enjoyed it - or simply to leave it for what it was - think the latter probably best but open to ideas!
KBO - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
