Sophie, No one minds repeating the words "detach and focus". It's not about that at all, but what you learn as you move along the path. Sometimes, it's better when we can learn things for ourselves instead of others telling us, i.e., just like children must learn from their mistakes.
The reason that I pointed you to those places is because a lot of the questions you've been raising are very similiar to the questions that others have posted over the years. Hopefully, you will not only find some answers, but also come to realize that you are not alone and that your h is doing exactly what the others have done before him. It's a "script" that they all use during the self awareness journey.
Why should you invite him? Well...it's called taking the high road. Do not lower yourself to his level. He is being very selfish and self-centered right now. If you do the same thing, you'll never get anywhere. Take the high road...show him that you are the adult here.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
