Creeping through no man's land

[naej]

A Red dress spells danger, and I see no follow up post so maybe ACJ had such a fantastic time she's too busy to update.

I love red dresses-sigh.

[BeingMe]

Red is a good colour for a dress --- really stands out even if it's modest. I haven't worn one in years.

Hope you had a lot o' fun, Ms ACJ!

[Andabelle]

You go, girl!

[ACJ]

Sorry to disappoint you girls but I left the party early as I wasn't enjoying myself. In retrospect I shouldn't have gone as it was me who was the problem not the other people there.

The party was being hosted by another social networking group that I have been encouraged to join. It was people I already know from the group I've been in long term that did this. This new group does things more locally and generally has a younger age group attend. That was the problem. At this particular event most of the people in the room were nearer in age to D18 than me. After 3 hours I was sick of 'Hello, what's your name, where do you live etc etc etc. Although I'm used to this type of convo from the other group with this lot it didn't go any further than that and it was very stilted convo at that. I was way out of my comfort zone so I left. It was supposed to be a party but there was no room to dance. It was just 90 odd people crammed into a very small room that had been hired in a bar. The music was so loud you couldn't hear what other people were saying etc. Think I've finally returned to being a 40 something in my head instead of 30 something. Maybe it was me having MLC all along
So the red dress will have to come into it's own some other time! I bought it b/c I know I suit red really well and I had hoped it would be a confidence booster for me. Oh well you live and learn.

Today I have been on my personal nightmare of a rollercoaster for three years. I didn't expect to feel as down as I do. I thought this year would be easier. Thankfully I'd planned to work from home today. I didn't want to be in a position where I was breaking down in tears in front of my colleagues. Ironically the tears came yesterday and I'm just suffering from the melancholy today.

Only good news is that so far I've not received any more papers from Hs L. There is, however, still time.

[naej]

ACJ (((()))))
Well good on you for giving it a go. The easy option would have been stay home and feel sorry for yourself.So be proud of yourself.
The red dress will have plenty pf other outings I am sure.
It is disappointing when you re looking forward to something I know, especially as you had such a good time the last time you went out.
It is hard when you have a bad day after so much time has passed but it does happen and probably will continue to for a while. We set ourselves timescales to be this or that by then,but it is only our self imposed timescale. No laws or rules it is what it is.
I was shocked to find how badly I reacted to my Xh 60th b'day, partly because for his 50th we had a big party and I worked my socks off with the catering and everyone really enjoyed it. I so wanted to be with him on that day but as you know we have no contact although I could have sent a card but didn't. I missed him so much. I doubt he will feel the same on my 60th.

Hope you get lots of work done at home and the wek gets better. Don't let one outing put you off.

[ACJ]

Thanks Neaj.

I'm not letting this latest experience put me off. I'm off to Centre Parcs again in a couple of weekends time with the group I've been in for a couple of years. It is usually a really good weekend so I'm looking forward to it. Last year amongst a raft of things I did I played tennis in the rain (twice). Probably a little dangerous, certainly came away extremely wet but it was a hoot (and I got to play with 3 fellas cos all the other women cried off due to the rain ).

Surprisingly there was no 'love letter' from Hs L today. So as you might expect my mood improved considerably once the postman had been and gone.

D13 is at Hs now for her tea. She hasn't spoken to him all week as they fell out when she went last week. Even when I am not here he never comes into the house anymore. He justs rings her on her mobile to say he has arrived and then sits in the car waiting for her. Today she made him wait ages whilst she got changed, had a drink and told me about her day (she had only been home from school about 10 mins). We had a giggle about that.

[Truelove]

Hi ACJ,
I am sorry your evening in your red dress was not better. Hopefully, there will be more your kind of people at the next event.

Have a better day tomorrow. (((HUGS)))

[ACJ]

My body clock is all over the place at the moment hence the reason why I'm here at 2 in the morning. When it's time to get up I just want to sleep!

Later on today it is S16s first parents evening at the college he now goes to. It will be an interesting evening not least b/c both H and I will be there and it is a couple of years since he has attended this type of event. At the beginning of the week he wasn't going to come once he knew I was intending on being there. Bizarrely at one point he even asked S16 if it was alright if OW came! Thankfully S16 is currently a little bit more grown up than H at the moment and said he didn't think that would be a good idea. I would still have gone even if he had insisted on bringing her (and i still wouldn't put it past him) but I think the teachers may have raised a few eyebrows given her tender age of 27. I think a few of them might have been counting up on their fingers to work out the potential age difference. All that aside why would she want to come other than to spite me? He is not her son and never will be. He may be living in the same house as her but as far as I'm concerned she has no pastoral responsibility for my son and so she should have no say in his upbringing.

Maybe I will wear my red dress

[Cinderellaman]

Hi ACJ,

Now that's something I wouldn't want and accept...the ow attending such a meeting...I think that that has to do with the parents and not step parents. My goodness 27 !!!!!! Well, your H and mine seem to have the same taste in age ! My H is 37 and his ow just turned 26 !

Oh well, wishing you strength and I hope the evening goes well !

xxxx

[ACJ]

Thanks Cinders.

The evening did go relatively well. I ended up having to pick S16 up for the parents evening as H had taken a day's annual leave to spend time with OW and some of her relatives/friends who are visiting at the moment. H met us there as the college is in the city centre and that is where he had spent the day.

As we were driving there H rang S16 to ask him exactly where the college was! My H has lived in this city all of his life, worse still D18 went to the same college but he never once attended a parents evening the whole two years she was there. He was invited he just chose not to be there. He has only ever been there once before when D18 was having a look round with a view to applying for a place. This was a matter of a couple of weeks after he left. He must have felt really stupid and I hope sad and ashamed that he didn't know where it was.

We managed to spend an hour in each other's company without H directly speaking to me! I don't know if S16 has told his teachers our family situation but if he hasn't they wouldn't have been any the wiser b/c we sat and spoke to them all together and we both asked the questions we wanted to do. He just chose to only speak to S16 in between appointments. As I have been many times before I knew my way around and I also knew what happens at these events (it is the first one for S16) and so again I'm sure he must have felt pretty dumb.

I knew H didn't have his car in town with him b/c when I arrived to pick S16 up it was outside his flat. So when we had completed all of our appointments I offered both H and S16 a lift home. H pretended he hadn't heard me and proceeded to tell S16 that he had arranged to re-meet OW and her family/friends at the German Christmas Market that is currently being held in the City Centre. S16 accepted my lift home.

There was just one raised eyebrow moment. When I looked at S16s attendance record (due to his history of playing truant at his previous school) I noticed that he had 4 unauthorised absences and I tackled him about it. H started to tell me that it had all been sorted previously and so I just said 'if you knew he had not been turning up you should have kept me informed as you are supposed to do'. He looked like I had just slapped him round his face. He has clearly forgotten that we are BOTH S16s parents! In the end it turned out that he didn't actually know what he was talking about. He had been referring to when he took S16 to Czech Republic. He took him out of class for two days just prior to a school holiday. The school had originally classed this as unauthorised absence even though H had informed then b/c they don't condone holiday's during term time. When I pointed out that the absences I was talking about were not during that period he hadn't got anymore clue than I had. So much for his supposed superior parenting skills!

In the main S16 seems to be doing well although all of his teachers said that if he just applied himself a little better he would excell rather than just get by.