You were right to tell your 5 year old daughter that you will all be happy. Despite what some think, our children don't need to be dragged any further into these messes than they already are.
Yes, shame on us all. Shame on us for having a spouse who turns their back on their promises, their vows, their beliefs and morals. Shame on us for allowing their violations to push us to the point that we can finally agree with them - this marriage is no longer healthy or able to be saved.
Which of your decisions would you change Frank? If you had not filed, if you had allowed the status to remain quo, would things be all better now? Of would your wife now be on OM4 or OM5? Would you still be caring for the kids basic needs pretty much on your own while your wife was out looking for a new partner?
Your actions caused her anger and bitterness to come to the surface finally. Your actions took away her ability to PRETEND to be considering the marriage. And your actions provoked her to once again take up the mantle of being a Mom, even if her motivations for doing so are not quite right.
It is time for this thing to move forward so that all of you can get about your lives without the constant reminders of the hurt and pain staring you in the face each day.
No, divorce is not good for us or our children. But as far too many of us have learned, it takes BOTH partners in the marriage wanting a healed relationship for it to take place. One spouse is more than capable of ending a marriage regardless of what the other one wants.
Release yourself Frank. Stop living in the guilt, because, honestly, you've taken far more than your fair share already. Stop allowing your wife and her actions to cause you to doubt your honor and your integrity.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
