I screwed up again

[AnotherNightmare]

Hi Beth,

You are probably right about not saying "thank you". But all these things stick out like a sore thumb and I always feel she does it to hurt me, to show me how she felt, to just pay back. I need to learn how to ignore them.

What is on my mind right now is the MC session tomorrow. I am not sure how this will go. I am rehearsing things I want to say (I may even mention very vaguely that I have met all of you and that I have heard my side and her side of the story from several different perpectives) and I am thinking about things I want to stay from (I will try to put no blame whatsoever on her, but I somehow may have to describe the nagging she did that drove me away). I am not sure what kind of questions the C will ask. I am also thinking about questions my W might ask me during the session. So I am as nervous as - well - I guess on my wedding day. I do not want to screw up and my primary goal is to get her to keep coming with me to the MC.

I worked on another 180 this morning. We have an exchange student, and my W has been driving her around mainly, because I was away. This morning I offered her to do it for her. She seemed pleased, but she is struggling very hard not to show it. We also had a situation this morning where I was joking around with my D5, and when I suddenly looked at her, her smile froze.

Little baby steps forward, but mentally I am trying to prepare for the next major step backward.

Thank you for everybody's support. Keep your suggestions coming. I feel a lot of confidence that we can get through this together and we will be successful in the end, one way or another.

AN